Hey… also look pregnant all the time. Have serious digestive issues that cause my stomach to inflate like a balloon- it can be very painful. In my case I know what causes it - certain fibres like avocado and quinoa and dairy and carbonated stuff and emulsifiers and stabilizers and a whole lotta stuff. But not water. Yay!
I ended up going to a high end (for me) shop where the assistants pull clothes off the rack and hand you things you’d never usually wear. Wide leg heavy cotton pants (what no yoga pants? Nooooo….!) and a loose linen blouse (but I love my tanks! Nooooo….!) that basically increased my upper and lower size so my waist would look like the smallest part of me. It looked amazing. It felt really good. I no longer try to wear Lululemon and Aritzia and Michael Korrs. Fuck ‘em. (Ok my watch is Michael Korrs - the stuff is pretty dammit!)
There’s nothing wrong with the appearance of your body! You look great, belly and all. But you may want assistance dressing for the one you have rather than the one the world said you should have. Kick start your new acceptance of your beauty. 🤗
Hugs hugs hugs!!! Thank you so very much for being here, and for sharing, and for your support. 🥹😭🙏 seriously means SO much. How did you learn certain fibres messed with you? I eat avocado's on the regular 😅😭 I've cut out most processed as that TOTALLY messes with me, and usually cut gluten and dairy.
Love the suggestion of finding bloat friendly outfits!!! I will start looking into that. 🙏
Mine’s very painful. It’s not technically bloat I don’t think but my belly inflates like a balloon after food I can’t digest. I figured out the avocado by making an avocado sandwich for myself and then biking to the Capilano suspension bridge just outside Vancouver. It was a phenomenally painful ride home, not soon to be forgotten! I’d regularly eaten bread without issue but never so much avocado at once before.
So yeah, trial and error! Fun! My permanent belly is from two kids and no “bounce back” but I look like my mother who also has the same shape so 🤷♀️. Learning to dress it cut down on the congratulations. 😉😝
I am in pain today because I ate different foods than usual because of Easter celebrations, dinners candy. It takes a few days to get out of my system. I have cut gluten and limit dairy.
Dear sweet BEAUTIFUL Megan, that you are, I'm honored you gave me the "hugest shoutout to Dr Donna Blevins for her role in shining a spotlight on the power of my inner dialog"
I'm crying here. In the good way.
You shine a beacon on my day and continue to validate that I'm doing what I'm supposed to do that gives me joy!
To further strengthen your inner voice, turn your affirmation also into intentions then well-crafted why questions.
Asking the question at night before you doze off are downloaded to your shame-sourced subconscious and become code modifiers.
Yes, Shame Sandwich queen. We have that power. You are also the WordSmith wizard and your wand is your pen.
I've spent the last few years with the mantra 'say goodbye to shame' rattling through my head. Big turning point for me was having a kid. I decided early on that however badly I felt about my body or mind I would never vocalise it in front of them. That also goes for other people's bodies.
Growing up my mum would be very critical of people's bodies and how badly clothes fitted them. I used to join in with glee, until one day - one light bulb moment, I realised I had internalised those comments and was always looking critically at my body and feeling ashamed of something about it, whatever size I was.
I didn't want our child to grow up thinking their worth was tied to how they looked, or to judge other people based on theirs. It's taken years of banishing negative thoughts with the 'say goodbye to shame' mantra, but I have managed to positively alter my thought process on my body and how I live in it and think about it. It's good, it's worth doing- but it has been a long process and requires consistency.
I'm currently the largest I've ever been- I don't like it. My face looks different, my stomach is soft, my waist has thickened.
The reason? I'm nurse to our child who is currently undergoing Chemotherapy. Our life has ground to a halt while we deal with this, and so too has the passive exercise of life. Sitting around in hospitals and at home is not good for the figure. I've put on around 14 pounds so far.
So when I look down at my wobbly belly, or quietly put away the trousers that don't fit right now, or buy new underwear that doesn't cut into my thicker hips, I tell myself that this is a coat I am wearing, that I will shed. This is the price of caring.
My child will never hear me negatively talk about my body or mind (years of undiagnosed ADHD has also done a number on my self-esteem but that's another story) because they love me, and they believe in me. I've used that love like a mirror and reflected it back on myself.
Saying goodbye to Shame is one of the most liberating things you can do. It takes time, effort and consistency but it is worth every bit of it.
Shame will only hold you back. Be kind to yourself and your bloated stomach.
I hope you can shed Shame- it is a constant fight but a worthy one.
Oh Tinsysnips… thank you so very much for being here and sharing this with me. ♥️ Your child is so incredibly lucky to have such an amazing mama and role model. And, sending your child and you SO much love during this incredibly difficult time. You are so strong! 💝💝💝
I’m so encouraged by your journey to shed the shame! I absolutely love your mantra ‘say goodbye to shame’.
YES YES YES to living free from shame!!! Shame is quite possibly the most insidious form of sabotage to living a thriving life. And I’m going to bury that bitch. Every day is the opportunity to practice living FREE.
Oh dear one, to be that thin…. It’s been years. Would you feel more yourself, if you cherished your body flaws and all? Probably… I agree with another comment, get a stylist or fashion expert to help you find how to wear clothes that are comfortable and show your best parts.
Sucking it in continuous
Ly… has got to be hard on you. To be relaxed with yourselves, and to be real with those we care about is the important thing. Those who care for us the most, are not truly there because of how we look on the outside…AND MY DEAR MEGAN , you on the inside are a #10 model…in my opinion your outside is at least an 8….
What’s not to love?
We are hardest on our selves…
Do you want your young one to try and be how the world says we should be? Or her authentic self through and through?
Relax….
Let your belly be what it is, embrace it and let your heart be what people judge not your body…
I am sorry you feel shame on such a thing…
You have a right to do what you want in this world….
I have been taking turmeric
Not sure it helps with bloating, but I am regular and not as inflamed!
Write on dear one….
Never be shamed that you share your genuine self… we are all here for you and look forward to whatever you need to share because we care.
Oh Di, you are the bestest. 😭♥️ Thank you oh so much for these heartfelt words… they have indeed touched my heart.
I’m soaking in the exhale of your words, as I relax my belly, and remember that those that care about me first care about what’s on the inside. 🙏🫶
Thank you so much for being YOU!
p.s. I’ve been drinking a tumeric and ginger tea and I thought I would hate the taste but I actually LOVE it! 💕 Not sure it helps but at least I enjoy drinking it lol
You know what the sexiest thing any of my partners have ever done in terms of their bodies? They’ve allowed themselves to share their perceived imperfections with me. They’ve let me see the things they consider flaws. They open up and allow themselves to be vulnerable because they trust that I love them and accept them, and when it comes to things physical, I/we will work with whatever we got. Heck, I’m not rocking a bod I consider perfect either. Being willing to share ‘flaws’ is its own form of intimacy.
And now I know why Maggie Jon posted that picture of her own belly a while back.
Sam 😭🙏 Thank you from the bottom of my bloated belly ← we went there for this comment. 😭 I needed to hear ALL of this. And… “Being willing to share ‘flaws’ is its own form of intimacy” a thousand times YES… Truly beautiful. Thank you again for this encouragement.
You are dropping the burden you carry off your back. Fear and shame are carry by everyone, but you just dropped it. Hopefully this piece will make others drop it or going through their process to do so. Thank you for sharing. It was hard to do but you needed to do it. And many will see it's easy to do. It takes steps and commitment. Until then be cool 😎 and you.
Thank you so very much for being here and sharing these words of encouragement. 🥹🙏 Truly means so much! I really hope others feel less alone by reading my sharing of shame. 🙏
Hi, Me again! I feel like reading all of these comments has certainly cemented what I always suspected: Every woman (and most men I've known) will have something about their body that they don't like, something they minimize, or hide, and yes, feel shameful about it. I'm no exception.
Reading your piece again after the deep dive into the comment section, I have a couple of points to share with you. Unfortunately, I can't help with your medical issue. Prebiotics and probiotics would be where I would start if it were me. I've no doubt you've probably tried just about everything. I'm so sorry that you are suffering with this problem.
1. The only way to lose our shame is to confront it, along with the fear. Ask yourself, what is the worst that can happen ? Everything that isn't that, is a win.
2. In building a romantic relationship, you have to be willing to be laid bare. Not just physically, but that too, but to be authentic and vulnerable with your partner. If you are brave enough to do that. I have no doubt that he will find you extremely sexy and will not think twice about your bloated belly, except to lay his body upon it. I also recommend that you discuss your medical /digestive issues so that he's aware of them.
3. The most attractive partner is an enthusiastic partner. If you show up naked, I have my suspicions that he'll not judge the way your belly looks!
4. Fuck Shame. I'm a proponent of radical self- acceptance. Whatever your mom, or a former lover, or society's impossible beauty standards, or whomever did to make you ashamed of your body, you can rebel against that completely and learn to accept, and dare I say love your body, flaws and all, as I'm sure your partner does.
Virg— You are such an angel. 😭 I just adore you and your energy and your wisdom and your support.
Thank you so very much for being here, and sharing this with me. You give me heartfelt, happy chills. And I’m going to be re-reading this comment several times, basking in all of the truth it contains, willing it to sink the fuck into my soul. 💕
Shit, *I* look 6 months pregnant when I crawl out of the rack in the morning. Half an hour later after downing my morning drink I look 7 months. After dinner? Forget it!!!
How can you have an honest relationship with a guy if you’re not being 100% HONEST? And frankly? You got NOTHING to worry or be ashamed about. If he’s a decent guy, he doesn’t give a rat’s ass if you have a “belly”. (Unless it’s caused by being malnourished, if which case I would hope he DEFINITELY care.)
Megan, if that’s your biggest problem, you don’t have any.
BTW, I adore this line…. “BITCH YOU SO UGLY I CAN ONLY TAP THAT FROM BEHIND AT MIDNIGHT”
1) Glad I’m not alone in the expecting department. LOL.
2) Despite being deeply self conscious over this, I know I’d rather risk that discomfort than keep this from my partner. And after showing him, he was nothing but absolutely amazing and supportive and kind and all the perfect things. 🥹🙏
I can't thank you enough for posting this Megan. I feel like I'm alone with this sometimes. I can't image someone young and fit like you struggling.
For myself I can look ok in the morning and then go to looking 8 months pregnant. It's frustrating and uncomfortable. I've had this for years and got worse with pregnancy, perimenopause, and now menopause it's a constant battle.
You could easily be young enough to be my daughter!!
You are young, gorgeous, fit, smart and funny and a talented writer.
I get the holding belly in - done that. Bad for pelvic floor, yep
I have my baggy wardrobe for when bloat hits me.
Thanks again for sharing. I am still looking for answer and it's been years. I have cut gluten and dairy
Yesterday with Easter and eating different foods I am suffering now
🥹😭🙏 Thank you so very much for being here, seeing me, and validating all of the feels Jane!!! Truly feels hopeful to know you’re not alone.
I’m so sorry to know you struggle with this too… 💔 I don’t know anyone in “real life” that struggles with anything remotely close to this so I’m so glad I posted about this, and let other women who battle this know they’re not alone. 😭💝
I feel like I’ve tried a lot of things and nothing has worked… YET. I believe healing is possible 🙏
Holiday weekends are SO rough. Sending you a big hug!
Thanks so much, Megan. I hope you can find some answers. You are too young to deal with that, but I have. My son has gi issues too :( no real answers for him either
Not bloating, but had an Addisonian crisis at age 25, gained 13 pounds of water weight overnight (from the IV fluids needed to raise my blood pressure), and then immediately lost said 13 pounds, and on a 5’ 4” 105 lb frame, that created stretch marks and loose skin like you wouldn’t believe. 13 years later and I still won’t wear a bikini or any shirt that shows the smallest amount of midriff, so believe me, I understand the shame and fear.
Oh Caitlin… I see you. That must have been awful to go through… Sending you such a big hug!!! 🥹💝🫶 Thank you so very much for being here, and understanding the shame and fear. ♥️♥️♥️
Oh my God I get this and currently look 4 months pregnant and it's so uncomfortable. I hear you so much. But fuck me you're so adorable and such a funny cow "He can only tap that from behind"! Sending you so much love and thank you for sharing this side of you. You're not alone ❤️🙏
PFA!!! You always make me grin wildly and feel all the warm feels. Thank you so much for making me chuckle and the suuport, AND SENDING YOU A BIG BLOATED HUG and I really hope our bloat babies debloats for good soon. 🥹♥️♥️♥️
I wrote a whole long ass comment here about my own body shames and then deleted it because I felt too ashamed. I know so well the irony in that.
Suffice to say, we all have our body shame issues. And I admire you so much for being vulnerable (aka strong) enough to share yours so openly here. It gives the rest of us a feeling of exhale.
Teri Leigh I just adore you! Your authentic nature shines through in everything you do and I appreciate it oh so much. And just know this shame sammie space is a very safe place for all the shame, so please feel free to share whatever you want now and in the future. 🥹💝
Thank you SO much for your soothing words, I’m so happy I can be an exhale. That is so beautiful.
I know how this sounds and it might piss off all the people who are not "skinny-mini" like me. but it's how I feel.
my sense of touch is very sensitive. I am extremely picky about how clothes fit me. (which is why I don't wear bras). I hate scratchy tags. and clothes that are too tight, or not tight enough or sag in the wrong places, or squeeze in the wrong ways. As a little girl, when I didn't have the words to express this, I would have massive temper tantrums about having to wear tights. I hated the way they sagged at my crotch, and how they itched on ankles, and how they compressed my toes.
but now, hitting perimenopause, my body touch sensitivity has hit a whole new level. I've gained weight, which women my age tend to do. For the most part, this is natural and normal and I am fine with it. in some ways I even like it. except for one part.
I hate my back fat. I hate that I have folds of skin on my back because the feeling of my skin folding on itself is worse than saggy tight crotches, or sweaty panty-hose knee-pits, or poking bra underwires, all combined!
and there is no fucking thing I can do about it! I'm a yogi, and a food-freak. I know all the diet and exercise things I would need to do. and I also know my body well enough to know that no diet or exercise short of anorexia will change this. I have to fucking accept it. and every fucking day, I feel the folds and it makes me cringe.
when I was a little girl (and even sometimes as a grown-ass woman) I would rip the clothes from my body and try to tear them into shreds at anger at the feelings and sensations they would do to me. Such rage. Such anger.
and now, I deal with it every single day. and nothing I do seems to calm it. I can manage to distract and ignore it for some hours at a time, but multiple times a day I feel my skin folds and the little moistness of sweat between the folds and it grates on me. I"m not grossed out by it, I just can't stand the feeling like fingernails down a chalkboard!
I'll never cease to be amazed by the conversations that are sparked and touch my very soul by sharing my own shame... Thank you so much for sharing... I feel validated in more ways than you would probably even think. When I get big anger rage feelings I also feel shame over them, and I just want to say... thank you for making me feel seen in those big feels.
And... I see you, and am sending you a big (bloated) hug. That fucking SUCKS to have to deal with that level of intense awfulness daily. 😭 I pray it gets better for you! 💝
God, the physical flaws I have stay on constant replay in my mind - do people notice the grotesque cellulite-I've never been able to get rid of- through these pants (I'll save them the horror of never wearing shorts in public no matter how hot it is)? My newest body shame is facial hair - can they see the new dark chin hairs that seem to be an unwelcome gift presented to me in my 40's? Yay for a woman sporting a 5 o'cock shadow (lol - i left that spelled incorrectly). But my biggest insecurity are my boobs..
I legit have one a whole size bigger than the other. Finding a bra that is comfortable, lifts my national geographic boobies, and doesn't make my tit's look like they are cut in half is impossible. Even now baring them to my other half makes me feel shameful of them, never mind the fear I had showing them to new lovers - kill me now.
He seems like he is a very sweet guy and it sounds like he would embrace all of you. But to take the edge off for you, what if you were like, dude, im pregnant? Maybe not - seems like an asshole move. But also, might make your nerves less after a laugh?
I'm proud of you for sharing this. I hope sharing this sheds so many layers of shame that it gives you the courage you need to show your man. Love you, M! ❤️
HHMC!!! First, I love you too. Kindred spirits we are. 🥹♥️🙏
Second, sending you a massive bloated hug!!!! The mind can be the absolute WORST enemy when it comes to ‘physical flaws’. 😭 So just know you are NOT alone, and I see you and love you. What would it be like to look at ourselves and completely accept and love ourselves?!?! Can you imagine the magic of that? THAT’S what I’m rooting for us to experience. 🥹♥️
Third, OMFG TELLING HIM I’M PREGGERS 😂😂😂 I literally look like it when I’m in full bloat so I absolutely could. Be like sir I know I’m only 2 months along but it’s triplets and they grow faster. 😂😂😂
Fourth, Thank you for making me laugh, and all of the support. Seriously means so much!!! And I’m strongly considering the preggers joke angle. Hahahah.
Yes! Most definitely kindred spirits ❤️ Happy to report that it's been a slow ass process, but finally starting to accept all parts and pieces of myself - inside and out. Here's to the day we're finally free of our own restraints. 👏🙏
If you do go the preggers angle (lol'd at the triplets comment. 🤣) please, please share his reaction.
Something about the tortoise and the hair and the tortoise actually coming out better in the end? Well, even though that story has holes in it (😂) imma stick with that sentiment… slow ass progress or not is still progress. 💕💕💕
Trust me in this: NO guy, and I mean NOOOO guy, will EVER find that even the slightest bit funny. If you ever want to drive him away, like out-of-state-far away, hit him with that and then tell him you were only joking. Even if he doesn’t split with you, he WILL be thinking “check, please!” in the back of his head for a very long time.
Unless you truly *want* to touch the third rail, that is.
Update: I showed my bloated baby I mean belly to him and *then* said wouldn't it have been funny if I was like "ayyyyy, can you imagine if I was like: So, I'm pregnant with triplets?!". We both got a laugh out of it. We both joke around a TON (clearly 🤣) and he got that I was clearly joking about an issue I'm so mortified around so all is well. 😂🙏
I have this too! but my belly is a fair bit larger lol I also think some of my problem is a bit of hyperlordosis in my lower back which naturally makes my tummy area stick out more. I can also suck it in and relax it back out to an impressive degree instantly 😅 I've always been like this tho, since forever, so my situation might be different from yours ✌️
Your bravery in laying bare your feelings about this is - as always - impressive, and I applaud you and this post!!! keep on shamin' on, lovely 🫶
Firstly huge hugs!!! I see you. 🥹💝 (I think I also have a bit of hyperlordosis plus diastasis recti from having a kiddo soooooo those definitely don’t help.)
Sending you all the beauitful, happy, healthy, healing energy your way! ✨
And, thank you SO very much for your encouragement, it truly means so very much to me. 🥹♥️♥️♥️
Megan, not that it’s a competition or anything, but my bloated belly is way bigger than yours (is it weird that I’m feeling some pride about this?😂). You are beautiful, just as you are. Thank you for sharing so vulnerably, and I hear you and see you, but just know that your guy won’t care two shits about your belly. He will just be over the moon to be so close to such a beautiful babe with a big, bold heart.❤️
Nida!!! 🥹 You’ve put such a big smile on my face, thank you so much for your kind words and bringing humor to such a bloated situation. 😂 And seriously, your encouragement means so much!!! ♥️ Huge hugs to you, and I pray your bloating goes away! Although here’s a trophy to memorialize the moment? 🏆😂♥️
Hey… also look pregnant all the time. Have serious digestive issues that cause my stomach to inflate like a balloon- it can be very painful. In my case I know what causes it - certain fibres like avocado and quinoa and dairy and carbonated stuff and emulsifiers and stabilizers and a whole lotta stuff. But not water. Yay!
I ended up going to a high end (for me) shop where the assistants pull clothes off the rack and hand you things you’d never usually wear. Wide leg heavy cotton pants (what no yoga pants? Nooooo….!) and a loose linen blouse (but I love my tanks! Nooooo….!) that basically increased my upper and lower size so my waist would look like the smallest part of me. It looked amazing. It felt really good. I no longer try to wear Lululemon and Aritzia and Michael Korrs. Fuck ‘em. (Ok my watch is Michael Korrs - the stuff is pretty dammit!)
There’s nothing wrong with the appearance of your body! You look great, belly and all. But you may want assistance dressing for the one you have rather than the one the world said you should have. Kick start your new acceptance of your beauty. 🤗
Hugs hugs hugs!!! Thank you so very much for being here, and for sharing, and for your support. 🥹😭🙏 seriously means SO much. How did you learn certain fibres messed with you? I eat avocado's on the regular 😅😭 I've cut out most processed as that TOTALLY messes with me, and usually cut gluten and dairy.
Love the suggestion of finding bloat friendly outfits!!! I will start looking into that. 🙏
♥️♥️♥️♥️
Mine’s very painful. It’s not technically bloat I don’t think but my belly inflates like a balloon after food I can’t digest. I figured out the avocado by making an avocado sandwich for myself and then biking to the Capilano suspension bridge just outside Vancouver. It was a phenomenally painful ride home, not soon to be forgotten! I’d regularly eaten bread without issue but never so much avocado at once before.
So yeah, trial and error! Fun! My permanent belly is from two kids and no “bounce back” but I look like my mother who also has the same shape so 🤷♀️. Learning to dress it cut down on the congratulations. 😉😝
♥️🙏 Ugh!!! So painful! 😭
Well, if we ever need to work the “pregency angle” to get the last seat on the bus or something, we’ve got it covered. 🥲
I am in pain today because I ate different foods than usual because of Easter celebrations, dinners candy. It takes a few days to get out of my system. I have cut gluten and limit dairy.
Yeeep unfortunately we were taught from a young age that our worth depends on our looks. These things are hard to 'reprogram', but it is possible ❤️
Thank you friend! 🙏 I am working on believing it’s possible, too. ♥️♥️
OMG WELL SAID MAGGIE J. Could not agree MORE! That early programming runs deep—like AOL for the soul. But hey, we’re rewriting the code!
We absolutely are!
🥹✨🩷
Dear sweet BEAUTIFUL Megan, that you are, I'm honored you gave me the "hugest shoutout to Dr Donna Blevins for her role in shining a spotlight on the power of my inner dialog"
I'm crying here. In the good way.
You shine a beacon on my day and continue to validate that I'm doing what I'm supposed to do that gives me joy!
To further strengthen your inner voice, turn your affirmation also into intentions then well-crafted why questions.
Asking the question at night before you doze off are downloaded to your shame-sourced subconscious and become code modifiers.
Yes, Shame Sandwich queen. We have that power. You are also the WordSmith wizard and your wand is your pen.
😭♥️ Donna, how I adore you! Thank you so so so so much for your words of wisdom, and for making me feel like I’m wrapped in a hug from you!
I am taking my well-crafted why questions to bed with me (and throughout the day, too). 🙏
Here’s to living in true alignment with our beautiful selves!!!!
💕💕💕💕💕
I've spent the last few years with the mantra 'say goodbye to shame' rattling through my head. Big turning point for me was having a kid. I decided early on that however badly I felt about my body or mind I would never vocalise it in front of them. That also goes for other people's bodies.
Growing up my mum would be very critical of people's bodies and how badly clothes fitted them. I used to join in with glee, until one day - one light bulb moment, I realised I had internalised those comments and was always looking critically at my body and feeling ashamed of something about it, whatever size I was.
I didn't want our child to grow up thinking their worth was tied to how they looked, or to judge other people based on theirs. It's taken years of banishing negative thoughts with the 'say goodbye to shame' mantra, but I have managed to positively alter my thought process on my body and how I live in it and think about it. It's good, it's worth doing- but it has been a long process and requires consistency.
I'm currently the largest I've ever been- I don't like it. My face looks different, my stomach is soft, my waist has thickened.
The reason? I'm nurse to our child who is currently undergoing Chemotherapy. Our life has ground to a halt while we deal with this, and so too has the passive exercise of life. Sitting around in hospitals and at home is not good for the figure. I've put on around 14 pounds so far.
So when I look down at my wobbly belly, or quietly put away the trousers that don't fit right now, or buy new underwear that doesn't cut into my thicker hips, I tell myself that this is a coat I am wearing, that I will shed. This is the price of caring.
My child will never hear me negatively talk about my body or mind (years of undiagnosed ADHD has also done a number on my self-esteem but that's another story) because they love me, and they believe in me. I've used that love like a mirror and reflected it back on myself.
Saying goodbye to Shame is one of the most liberating things you can do. It takes time, effort and consistency but it is worth every bit of it.
Shame will only hold you back. Be kind to yourself and your bloated stomach.
I hope you can shed Shame- it is a constant fight but a worthy one.
Oh Tinsysnips… thank you so very much for being here and sharing this with me. ♥️ Your child is so incredibly lucky to have such an amazing mama and role model. And, sending your child and you SO much love during this incredibly difficult time. You are so strong! 💝💝💝
I’m so encouraged by your journey to shed the shame! I absolutely love your mantra ‘say goodbye to shame’.
YES YES YES to living free from shame!!! Shame is quite possibly the most insidious form of sabotage to living a thriving life. And I’m going to bury that bitch. Every day is the opportunity to practice living FREE.
♥️ ♥️♥️
Oh dear one, to be that thin…. It’s been years. Would you feel more yourself, if you cherished your body flaws and all? Probably… I agree with another comment, get a stylist or fashion expert to help you find how to wear clothes that are comfortable and show your best parts.
Sucking it in continuous
Ly… has got to be hard on you. To be relaxed with yourselves, and to be real with those we care about is the important thing. Those who care for us the most, are not truly there because of how we look on the outside…AND MY DEAR MEGAN , you on the inside are a #10 model…in my opinion your outside is at least an 8….
What’s not to love?
We are hardest on our selves…
Do you want your young one to try and be how the world says we should be? Or her authentic self through and through?
Relax….
Let your belly be what it is, embrace it and let your heart be what people judge not your body…
I am sorry you feel shame on such a thing…
You have a right to do what you want in this world….
I have been taking turmeric
Not sure it helps with bloating, but I am regular and not as inflamed!
Write on dear one….
Never be shamed that you share your genuine self… we are all here for you and look forward to whatever you need to share because we care.
Write on Dear one, hugs back atcha…Di
Oh Di, you are the bestest. 😭♥️ Thank you oh so much for these heartfelt words… they have indeed touched my heart.
I’m soaking in the exhale of your words, as I relax my belly, and remember that those that care about me first care about what’s on the inside. 🙏🫶
Thank you so much for being YOU!
p.s. I’ve been drinking a tumeric and ginger tea and I thought I would hate the taste but I actually LOVE it! 💕 Not sure it helps but at least I enjoy drinking it lol
You know what the sexiest thing any of my partners have ever done in terms of their bodies? They’ve allowed themselves to share their perceived imperfections with me. They’ve let me see the things they consider flaws. They open up and allow themselves to be vulnerable because they trust that I love them and accept them, and when it comes to things physical, I/we will work with whatever we got. Heck, I’m not rocking a bod I consider perfect either. Being willing to share ‘flaws’ is its own form of intimacy.
And now I know why Maggie Jon posted that picture of her own belly a while back.
Sam 😭🙏 Thank you from the bottom of my bloated belly ← we went there for this comment. 😭 I needed to hear ALL of this. And… “Being willing to share ‘flaws’ is its own form of intimacy” a thousand times YES… Truly beautiful. Thank you again for this encouragement.
I’m only speaking the truth as I see it. Nothing more. The only person who may need convincing to accept your body is you.
♥️🙏 Thank you! Yes… practicing practicing that self accepting every day. 🥹
You are dropping the burden you carry off your back. Fear and shame are carry by everyone, but you just dropped it. Hopefully this piece will make others drop it or going through their process to do so. Thank you for sharing. It was hard to do but you needed to do it. And many will see it's easy to do. It takes steps and commitment. Until then be cool 😎 and you.
Thank you so very much for being here and sharing these words of encouragement. 🥹🙏 Truly means so much! I really hope others feel less alone by reading my sharing of shame. 🙏
Hi, Me again! I feel like reading all of these comments has certainly cemented what I always suspected: Every woman (and most men I've known) will have something about their body that they don't like, something they minimize, or hide, and yes, feel shameful about it. I'm no exception.
Reading your piece again after the deep dive into the comment section, I have a couple of points to share with you. Unfortunately, I can't help with your medical issue. Prebiotics and probiotics would be where I would start if it were me. I've no doubt you've probably tried just about everything. I'm so sorry that you are suffering with this problem.
1. The only way to lose our shame is to confront it, along with the fear. Ask yourself, what is the worst that can happen ? Everything that isn't that, is a win.
2. In building a romantic relationship, you have to be willing to be laid bare. Not just physically, but that too, but to be authentic and vulnerable with your partner. If you are brave enough to do that. I have no doubt that he will find you extremely sexy and will not think twice about your bloated belly, except to lay his body upon it. I also recommend that you discuss your medical /digestive issues so that he's aware of them.
3. The most attractive partner is an enthusiastic partner. If you show up naked, I have my suspicions that he'll not judge the way your belly looks!
4. Fuck Shame. I'm a proponent of radical self- acceptance. Whatever your mom, or a former lover, or society's impossible beauty standards, or whomever did to make you ashamed of your body, you can rebel against that completely and learn to accept, and dare I say love your body, flaws and all, as I'm sure your partner does.
Love , Virg.
Virg— You are such an angel. 😭 I just adore you and your energy and your wisdom and your support.
Thank you so very much for being here, and sharing this with me. You give me heartfelt, happy chills. And I’m going to be re-reading this comment several times, basking in all of the truth it contains, willing it to sink the fuck into my soul. 💕
Shit, *I* look 6 months pregnant when I crawl out of the rack in the morning. Half an hour later after downing my morning drink I look 7 months. After dinner? Forget it!!!
How can you have an honest relationship with a guy if you’re not being 100% HONEST? And frankly? You got NOTHING to worry or be ashamed about. If he’s a decent guy, he doesn’t give a rat’s ass if you have a “belly”. (Unless it’s caused by being malnourished, if which case I would hope he DEFINITELY care.)
Megan, if that’s your biggest problem, you don’t have any.
BTW, I adore this line…. “BITCH YOU SO UGLY I CAN ONLY TAP THAT FROM BEHIND AT MIDNIGHT”
Thank you for all of this!!! ♥️
1) Glad I’m not alone in the expecting department. LOL.
2) Despite being deeply self conscious over this, I know I’d rather risk that discomfort than keep this from my partner. And after showing him, he was nothing but absolutely amazing and supportive and kind and all the perfect things. 🥹🙏
3) Such a great line right??? 😂😂😂😂😂
I can't thank you enough for posting this Megan. I feel like I'm alone with this sometimes. I can't image someone young and fit like you struggling.
For myself I can look ok in the morning and then go to looking 8 months pregnant. It's frustrating and uncomfortable. I've had this for years and got worse with pregnancy, perimenopause, and now menopause it's a constant battle.
You could easily be young enough to be my daughter!!
You are young, gorgeous, fit, smart and funny and a talented writer.
I get the holding belly in - done that. Bad for pelvic floor, yep
I have my baggy wardrobe for when bloat hits me.
Thanks again for sharing. I am still looking for answer and it's been years. I have cut gluten and dairy
Yesterday with Easter and eating different foods I am suffering now
🥹😭🙏 Thank you so very much for being here, seeing me, and validating all of the feels Jane!!! Truly feels hopeful to know you’re not alone.
I’m so sorry to know you struggle with this too… 💔 I don’t know anyone in “real life” that struggles with anything remotely close to this so I’m so glad I posted about this, and let other women who battle this know they’re not alone. 😭💝
I feel like I’ve tried a lot of things and nothing has worked… YET. I believe healing is possible 🙏
Holiday weekends are SO rough. Sending you a big hug!
Thanks so much, Megan. I hope you can find some answers. You are too young to deal with that, but I have. My son has gi issues too :( no real answers for him either
♥️🙏 Thank you! You and your son too! May we all find healing. 🫶
Thanks, Megan!
Not bloating, but had an Addisonian crisis at age 25, gained 13 pounds of water weight overnight (from the IV fluids needed to raise my blood pressure), and then immediately lost said 13 pounds, and on a 5’ 4” 105 lb frame, that created stretch marks and loose skin like you wouldn’t believe. 13 years later and I still won’t wear a bikini or any shirt that shows the smallest amount of midriff, so believe me, I understand the shame and fear.
Oh Caitlin… I see you. That must have been awful to go through… Sending you such a big hug!!! 🥹💝🫶 Thank you so very much for being here, and understanding the shame and fear. ♥️♥️♥️
Oh my God I get this and currently look 4 months pregnant and it's so uncomfortable. I hear you so much. But fuck me you're so adorable and such a funny cow "He can only tap that from behind"! Sending you so much love and thank you for sharing this side of you. You're not alone ❤️🙏
PFA!!! You always make me grin wildly and feel all the warm feels. Thank you so much for making me chuckle and the suuport, AND SENDING YOU A BIG BLOATED HUG and I really hope our bloat babies debloats for good soon. 🥹♥️♥️♥️
I wrote a whole long ass comment here about my own body shames and then deleted it because I felt too ashamed. I know so well the irony in that.
Suffice to say, we all have our body shame issues. And I admire you so much for being vulnerable (aka strong) enough to share yours so openly here. It gives the rest of us a feeling of exhale.
Teri Leigh I just adore you! Your authentic nature shines through in everything you do and I appreciate it oh so much. And just know this shame sammie space is a very safe place for all the shame, so please feel free to share whatever you want now and in the future. 🥹💝
Thank you SO much for your soothing words, I’m so happy I can be an exhale. That is so beautiful.
okay then...here goes....
I know how this sounds and it might piss off all the people who are not "skinny-mini" like me. but it's how I feel.
my sense of touch is very sensitive. I am extremely picky about how clothes fit me. (which is why I don't wear bras). I hate scratchy tags. and clothes that are too tight, or not tight enough or sag in the wrong places, or squeeze in the wrong ways. As a little girl, when I didn't have the words to express this, I would have massive temper tantrums about having to wear tights. I hated the way they sagged at my crotch, and how they itched on ankles, and how they compressed my toes.
but now, hitting perimenopause, my body touch sensitivity has hit a whole new level. I've gained weight, which women my age tend to do. For the most part, this is natural and normal and I am fine with it. in some ways I even like it. except for one part.
I hate my back fat. I hate that I have folds of skin on my back because the feeling of my skin folding on itself is worse than saggy tight crotches, or sweaty panty-hose knee-pits, or poking bra underwires, all combined!
and there is no fucking thing I can do about it! I'm a yogi, and a food-freak. I know all the diet and exercise things I would need to do. and I also know my body well enough to know that no diet or exercise short of anorexia will change this. I have to fucking accept it. and every fucking day, I feel the folds and it makes me cringe.
when I was a little girl (and even sometimes as a grown-ass woman) I would rip the clothes from my body and try to tear them into shreds at anger at the feelings and sensations they would do to me. Such rage. Such anger.
and now, I deal with it every single day. and nothing I do seems to calm it. I can manage to distract and ignore it for some hours at a time, but multiple times a day I feel my skin folds and the little moistness of sweat between the folds and it grates on me. I"m not grossed out by it, I just can't stand the feeling like fingernails down a chalkboard!
there. that's my body shame. we all have it.
and I love you.
I'll never cease to be amazed by the conversations that are sparked and touch my very soul by sharing my own shame... Thank you so much for sharing... I feel validated in more ways than you would probably even think. When I get big anger rage feelings I also feel shame over them, and I just want to say... thank you for making me feel seen in those big feels.
And... I see you, and am sending you a big (bloated) hug. That fucking SUCKS to have to deal with that level of intense awfulness daily. 😭 I pray it gets better for you! 💝
I love you too!
God, the physical flaws I have stay on constant replay in my mind - do people notice the grotesque cellulite-I've never been able to get rid of- through these pants (I'll save them the horror of never wearing shorts in public no matter how hot it is)? My newest body shame is facial hair - can they see the new dark chin hairs that seem to be an unwelcome gift presented to me in my 40's? Yay for a woman sporting a 5 o'cock shadow (lol - i left that spelled incorrectly). But my biggest insecurity are my boobs..
I legit have one a whole size bigger than the other. Finding a bra that is comfortable, lifts my national geographic boobies, and doesn't make my tit's look like they are cut in half is impossible. Even now baring them to my other half makes me feel shameful of them, never mind the fear I had showing them to new lovers - kill me now.
He seems like he is a very sweet guy and it sounds like he would embrace all of you. But to take the edge off for you, what if you were like, dude, im pregnant? Maybe not - seems like an asshole move. But also, might make your nerves less after a laugh?
I'm proud of you for sharing this. I hope sharing this sheds so many layers of shame that it gives you the courage you need to show your man. Love you, M! ❤️
HHMC!!! First, I love you too. Kindred spirits we are. 🥹♥️🙏
Second, sending you a massive bloated hug!!!! The mind can be the absolute WORST enemy when it comes to ‘physical flaws’. 😭 So just know you are NOT alone, and I see you and love you. What would it be like to look at ourselves and completely accept and love ourselves?!?! Can you imagine the magic of that? THAT’S what I’m rooting for us to experience. 🥹♥️
Third, OMFG TELLING HIM I’M PREGGERS 😂😂😂 I literally look like it when I’m in full bloat so I absolutely could. Be like sir I know I’m only 2 months along but it’s triplets and they grow faster. 😂😂😂
Fourth, Thank you for making me laugh, and all of the support. Seriously means so much!!! And I’m strongly considering the preggers joke angle. Hahahah.
Yes! Most definitely kindred spirits ❤️ Happy to report that it's been a slow ass process, but finally starting to accept all parts and pieces of myself - inside and out. Here's to the day we're finally free of our own restraints. 👏🙏
If you do go the preggers angle (lol'd at the triplets comment. 🤣) please, please share his reaction.
Something about the tortoise and the hair and the tortoise actually coming out better in the end? Well, even though that story has holes in it (😂) imma stick with that sentiment… slow ass progress or not is still progress. 💕💕💕
Hahahah ok deal I will share if I do!!! 😂
Trust me in this: NO guy, and I mean NOOOO guy, will EVER find that even the slightest bit funny. If you ever want to drive him away, like out-of-state-far away, hit him with that and then tell him you were only joking. Even if he doesn’t split with you, he WILL be thinking “check, please!” in the back of his head for a very long time.
Unless you truly *want* to touch the third rail, that is.
Update: I showed my bloated baby I mean belly to him and *then* said wouldn't it have been funny if I was like "ayyyyy, can you imagine if I was like: So, I'm pregnant with triplets?!". We both got a laugh out of it. We both joke around a TON (clearly 🤣) and he got that I was clearly joking about an issue I'm so mortified around so all is well. 😂🙏
Trust me, Megan, he may have laughed out of politeness or the context of the conversation , but I *guarantee* you he didn’t like it.
I have this too! but my belly is a fair bit larger lol I also think some of my problem is a bit of hyperlordosis in my lower back which naturally makes my tummy area stick out more. I can also suck it in and relax it back out to an impressive degree instantly 😅 I've always been like this tho, since forever, so my situation might be different from yours ✌️
Your bravery in laying bare your feelings about this is - as always - impressive, and I applaud you and this post!!! keep on shamin' on, lovely 🫶
Firstly huge hugs!!! I see you. 🥹💝 (I think I also have a bit of hyperlordosis plus diastasis recti from having a kiddo soooooo those definitely don’t help.)
Sending you all the beauitful, happy, healthy, healing energy your way! ✨
And, thank you SO very much for your encouragement, it truly means so very much to me. 🥹♥️♥️♥️
ah yup, I have four kids, so I know the toll they take on the body 🫠😅 they've definitely left my tummy in rough shape! 😂
♥️♥️ Thank you for being here Jenny, and for seeing me! I see you too. 🙏💕
Megan, not that it’s a competition or anything, but my bloated belly is way bigger than yours (is it weird that I’m feeling some pride about this?😂). You are beautiful, just as you are. Thank you for sharing so vulnerably, and I hear you and see you, but just know that your guy won’t care two shits about your belly. He will just be over the moon to be so close to such a beautiful babe with a big, bold heart.❤️
Nida!!! 🥹 You’ve put such a big smile on my face, thank you so much for your kind words and bringing humor to such a bloated situation. 😂 And seriously, your encouragement means so much!!! ♥️ Huge hugs to you, and I pray your bloating goes away! Although here’s a trophy to memorialize the moment? 🏆😂♥️