I've just added Fierce Conversations to my Must Read list.
I am totally 100% on board with never ever using the word BUT ever again. Actually, I replace "but" with "and" most of the time and it makes the sentence better. And now, when I read the word but in a sentence written by someone else, I chuckle because I see "butt" and that just puts the butt crack into the middle of the sentence and makes it lose all its meaning. I even wrote about it...https://wordsarespells.substack.com/p/im-allergic-to-the-word-but-and-thats
Yay!! 🙌 I hope you find the book meaningful! And YES… I’ve gotten much better about replacing but with and… it’s cray cray how powerful it is! Only seldom do I try and use but, and only when I think it’s intentionally the best word. Also… LOVE the butt crack analogy, so good!!! 😂
Shruthi!!! I just adore your energy. 😍 Thank you for being here and sharing your thoughts and making me feel less alone!... I know exactly what you mean about either I respond immediately or........ SHAMEFULLY long. 🙈 I have hope that I too can stop fucking torturing myself with shameful feelings about this "character flaw" even though it's not because I don't care 🥲 Thank you for that "hope hug" you've given me!
I love reading your stuff…you are such a breath of fresh air. You ask about Substack shame, mine is not so much about shame but I do regret I cannot do any paid subscriptions. On a retired teacher’s income I can’t afford it. I don’t feel so bad about some of the Substack celebs I follow but for those who are trying to eke out a living and still publishing meaningful content, I do regret it.
Finally my contribution to your “Does…” list at the beginning of your newsletter. “Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back?” And before all the Dolly fans accuse me of disrespect…I bet even Dolly herself would find that funny.
First... Ahhhh. You are so kind, thank you! ♥️🙏 AND-- Thank you so much for sharing this with me. 🥹 Sharing "shame" is such a beautiful way to loosen its grip. 🙏 I too feel bad/shame about not subscribing to all the incredible people on this platform. My inbox/mental brain capacity would explodicate. 😅😥
Second... Thank you so much for that "Does Dolly Parton..." line!!! That is fucking hilarious 😂😂😂😂 And I bet Queen D would indeed find that epic hahahaha.
Tbh you have a lot more subscribers than I hence more to respond to. But even with my numbers only being 400 if I can't respond due to life I can't. Simplez. Same for you. Not saying don't feel shame... not my place to attempt to tell you anything. But know there is another way... another place... where you give yourself more time and breath. Good thing is looks like you're finding it. Cheers John
so, is that what got sent to the closet ? or is there really something you need saying ?
and I did notice at the end you said you got it off your chest without a tittie reference ! Is this growth or neglect? And you are getting even more creative with the swearing. And remember, if the new boy toy isn't good to you you have an army that will properly shame him. and isn't all this substack work a direct result of you being famous and admired and held in such high esteem people comment and dm ? so really, it is their fault. they should know how fucking busy you are being fucking amazing and they should just back the fuck up with their demands for attention... oh dear. maybe that was too much... that was too much. sorry.
Sooo, nope this was not what got sent to the closet… It’s currently in my closet drafts right now lol I THINK IT WAS TITTIE NEGLECT 😱🤣 And thank you, forever proud and happy when my swearing is complimented. 🥹 My boy toy man is the bestest but if that was not the case… goodness will you all hear about it. 😂 And… hahaha, I appreciate all the too much supportive vibes!!!
I do I do! I was recently (GASP) a month (!) behind on reading my Substack subscriptions. I've now whittled down my inbox from 120 something to 15 currently ( I've had yours for 4 days).
Many of which I subscribed to and asked for. This caused me to re-evaluate my subscriptions and I even let a few go because I didn't have that burning desire to read them anymore. OR what they're writing no longer serves me. The guilt about it was a weight on my shoulders. Like carrying expectations that I asked if I could hold. Now I feel lighter, and totally understand that feeling. I'm also on board with saying "but" less. My spouse is always correcting but to and, and I'm working on removing "very" and "really" from my vocabularly a' la Dead Poets Society. I hope you have a super fun summer, have great time with your man and your kiddo, and have fun reading and catching up. If it doesn't feel fun, let it go (GASP!) - you can do that. As always, fuck shame, Love, Virg
Ahhhh... you are a legend!!! 120 to 15 is IMPRESSIVE. And it must feel *incredible* to be "uncluttered"!!! (spoken by someone who is weighed down by many unread emails 😅🥲🙈).
I'm so proud of you for unsubscribing even though the guilt is REAL. This --> "If it doesn't feel fun, let it go (GASP!) - you can do that"... THANK YOU. I need that reminder. Fuck. 🥹😂
And it's so ironic because I would never hate someone who wanted to unsubscribe from shame sandwich for any reason (not to be confused with an initial, "FUCK, I'm uncomfortable right now" hahah) but the second I think "I don't resonate/it feels like a burden in my inbox" and think about un-subscribing I feel all the guilt.
So... thank you for leading by example! 🙏
Ahhh... I'm a very (lol) very and really offender, I'm afraid. 😅
Yes!! I wrote daily for 21/2 years and then all went to shit. I lost my streak. Shame. I doubted why I was even here writing. No one would notice. But then FINALLY I cut myself a little slack . I have been living, and all the things. Even today it’s been three days since I published a post. Shame. The words do come to me every day, does that count?
All the hugs! Thank you so much for being here, and sharing and making me feel less alone. Shame is so cruel!!! I’m so glad you’re cutting yourself slack. You’ve been living! ♥️ And the words coming to you every day? That does count. ✨
Your journey through this "shame sandwich" is a masterclass in self-compassion, and it truly got me thinking about the deeper implications of how we treat ourselves. You articulated something profound: "IT’S… OK!!! YOU’RE NOT A HORRIBLE PERSON BECAUSE YOU’RE BEHIND ON RESPONDING TO NEWSLETTER COMMENTS. AND VARYING DEGREES OF LIFE. YOU ARE HUMAN. AND FIGURING IT OUT AS YOU GO." This isn't just about Substack; it's a mantra for modern existence. We're constantly bombarded with demands and expectations, and it's easy to fall into the trap of self-flagellation when we don't meet them. 🩵
Love reading your honest most vulnerable closet feels and here to say The real ones will show up regardless of comments or reply’s or DM returns. Your letters are all we need ⚡️💕
I find It's good to read your substack, whether you reply or not. Do you possibly have ADHD? I find that sometimes I can write back straight away, "butt" then other times I can be so overwhelmed with the things going on in my head, that I just can't reply. So I leave it and worry about leaving it but still leave it, until it becomes a massive mountain. So don't you worry about it girl, as you are just being you, and being honest when you talk about it. And that then has the good effect of making it much easier for all us others to talk about our feeling and thoughts that we try to hide thinking that we are alone feeling like that.
Keep on being you. 😀 we love you as you really are. 😀 xx
Thank you so much Christine, I could just hug you for all of the warm fuzzy feels your words bring me! 🥹🙏 I’m 107% sure I would be diagnosed as ADHD so… I really should give myself some grace. 🫠 And, I shall keep showing up as I am! It does my heart SO good to be seen and received as I am. ♥️♥️♥️
Well, considering I haven’t read or responded to this in over a week, I guess I shouldn’t complain too much that Megan has been too busy *LIVING* to respond to my drivel.
Girl, stop complaining (!) that you have an actual LIFE and it keeps you too busy for this. Seriously. You’re *bitching* because you have a life. Stop that. We’re here, and not going anywhere. Have FUN.
I've just added Fierce Conversations to my Must Read list.
I am totally 100% on board with never ever using the word BUT ever again. Actually, I replace "but" with "and" most of the time and it makes the sentence better. And now, when I read the word but in a sentence written by someone else, I chuckle because I see "butt" and that just puts the butt crack into the middle of the sentence and makes it lose all its meaning. I even wrote about it...https://wordsarespells.substack.com/p/im-allergic-to-the-word-but-and-thats
Yay!! 🙌 I hope you find the book meaningful! And YES… I’ve gotten much better about replacing but with and… it’s cray cray how powerful it is! Only seldom do I try and use but, and only when I think it’s intentionally the best word. Also… LOVE the butt crack analogy, so good!!! 😂
Oh my gosh!!!! I'm so so so fucking happy I found you through Teri, Megan!!!!
This was pure pure pure gold!
And yes, i go through those phases too (actually? I'm someone who responds immediately or takes weeks to do so...hello neurodivergence!!!!!)...
That's how my brain works...and I can't help it...after years of shaming myself I've finally accepted that part of myself and am okay with it!
Thank you for deepening my acceptance! Needed it today! Thank you!!!
Shruthi!!! I just adore your energy. 😍 Thank you for being here and sharing your thoughts and making me feel less alone!... I know exactly what you mean about either I respond immediately or........ SHAMEFULLY long. 🙈 I have hope that I too can stop fucking torturing myself with shameful feelings about this "character flaw" even though it's not because I don't care 🥲 Thank you for that "hope hug" you've given me!
You don’t have to respond to this comment. I get it 🤍🤍🤍🤍
Thank you 🥹♥️
I love reading your stuff…you are such a breath of fresh air. You ask about Substack shame, mine is not so much about shame but I do regret I cannot do any paid subscriptions. On a retired teacher’s income I can’t afford it. I don’t feel so bad about some of the Substack celebs I follow but for those who are trying to eke out a living and still publishing meaningful content, I do regret it.
Finally my contribution to your “Does…” list at the beginning of your newsletter. “Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back?” And before all the Dolly fans accuse me of disrespect…I bet even Dolly herself would find that funny.
First... Ahhhh. You are so kind, thank you! ♥️🙏 AND-- Thank you so much for sharing this with me. 🥹 Sharing "shame" is such a beautiful way to loosen its grip. 🙏 I too feel bad/shame about not subscribing to all the incredible people on this platform. My inbox/mental brain capacity would explodicate. 😅😥
Second... Thank you so much for that "Does Dolly Parton..." line!!! That is fucking hilarious 😂😂😂😂 And I bet Queen D would indeed find that epic hahahaha.
Tbh you have a lot more subscribers than I hence more to respond to. But even with my numbers only being 400 if I can't respond due to life I can't. Simplez. Same for you. Not saying don't feel shame... not my place to attempt to tell you anything. But know there is another way... another place... where you give yourself more time and breath. Good thing is looks like you're finding it. Cheers John
Thank you!!! I feel seen and not as shameful anymore!! 🙏🥹
so, is that what got sent to the closet ? or is there really something you need saying ?
and I did notice at the end you said you got it off your chest without a tittie reference ! Is this growth or neglect? And you are getting even more creative with the swearing. And remember, if the new boy toy isn't good to you you have an army that will properly shame him. and isn't all this substack work a direct result of you being famous and admired and held in such high esteem people comment and dm ? so really, it is their fault. they should know how fucking busy you are being fucking amazing and they should just back the fuck up with their demands for attention... oh dear. maybe that was too much... that was too much. sorry.
Sooo, nope this was not what got sent to the closet… It’s currently in my closet drafts right now lol I THINK IT WAS TITTIE NEGLECT 😱🤣 And thank you, forever proud and happy when my swearing is complimented. 🥹 My boy toy man is the bestest but if that was not the case… goodness will you all hear about it. 😂 And… hahaha, I appreciate all the too much supportive vibes!!!
I do I do! I was recently (GASP) a month (!) behind on reading my Substack subscriptions. I've now whittled down my inbox from 120 something to 15 currently ( I've had yours for 4 days).
Many of which I subscribed to and asked for. This caused me to re-evaluate my subscriptions and I even let a few go because I didn't have that burning desire to read them anymore. OR what they're writing no longer serves me. The guilt about it was a weight on my shoulders. Like carrying expectations that I asked if I could hold. Now I feel lighter, and totally understand that feeling. I'm also on board with saying "but" less. My spouse is always correcting but to and, and I'm working on removing "very" and "really" from my vocabularly a' la Dead Poets Society. I hope you have a super fun summer, have great time with your man and your kiddo, and have fun reading and catching up. If it doesn't feel fun, let it go (GASP!) - you can do that. As always, fuck shame, Love, Virg
Ahhhh... you are a legend!!! 120 to 15 is IMPRESSIVE. And it must feel *incredible* to be "uncluttered"!!! (spoken by someone who is weighed down by many unread emails 😅🥲🙈).
I'm so proud of you for unsubscribing even though the guilt is REAL. This --> "If it doesn't feel fun, let it go (GASP!) - you can do that"... THANK YOU. I need that reminder. Fuck. 🥹😂
And it's so ironic because I would never hate someone who wanted to unsubscribe from shame sandwich for any reason (not to be confused with an initial, "FUCK, I'm uncomfortable right now" hahah) but the second I think "I don't resonate/it feels like a burden in my inbox" and think about un-subscribing I feel all the guilt.
So... thank you for leading by example! 🙏
Ahhh... I'm a very (lol) very and really offender, I'm afraid. 😅
And... fuck shame. ♥️
So relatable. You're not alone in this and I'm so glad you shared. Thank you.
Thank you! So glad I'm not alone. ♥️🙏
Love you so much! I hope you are enjoying life! 🤍
Thank you much Amber!!! 🥹 ♥️ Ditto right back to YOU! ☀️
Life happens, shit happens and sometimes they are both!
Just do your best, we will wait. At least I will. Glad you are having a life. With all the butt stuff it entails. Hugs, Di
Ugh, life and shit happening at once is SO annoying!!! (((That's why I use a bidet hahahaha)))
Thank you so much, Di. I so apprecaite you!!!
HUGS. 💕💕💕💕
Yes!! I wrote daily for 21/2 years and then all went to shit. I lost my streak. Shame. I doubted why I was even here writing. No one would notice. But then FINALLY I cut myself a little slack . I have been living, and all the things. Even today it’s been three days since I published a post. Shame. The words do come to me every day, does that count?
All the hugs! Thank you so much for being here, and sharing and making me feel less alone. Shame is so cruel!!! I’m so glad you’re cutting yourself slack. You’ve been living! ♥️ And the words coming to you every day? That does count. ✨
Thank you for that!
Your journey through this "shame sandwich" is a masterclass in self-compassion, and it truly got me thinking about the deeper implications of how we treat ourselves. You articulated something profound: "IT’S… OK!!! YOU’RE NOT A HORRIBLE PERSON BECAUSE YOU’RE BEHIND ON RESPONDING TO NEWSLETTER COMMENTS. AND VARYING DEGREES OF LIFE. YOU ARE HUMAN. AND FIGURING IT OUT AS YOU GO." This isn't just about Substack; it's a mantra for modern existence. We're constantly bombarded with demands and expectations, and it's easy to fall into the trap of self-flagellation when we don't meet them. 🩵
Ugh I needed this reminder today… thank you, thank you for shining this light upwards and outwards, A!!!! Here’s to being HUMAN. ♥️🙏🙌
Love reading your honest most vulnerable closet feels and here to say The real ones will show up regardless of comments or reply’s or DM returns. Your letters are all we need ⚡️💕
You are forever the realest real one and I am forever grateful and a better human for your beautiful soul blessing my shame-filled soul. 🥹♥️🙏‼️😍🫶✨
🥹😭🥰❤️🌱🕺🏿🦋💃🏻✨👯
I find It's good to read your substack, whether you reply or not. Do you possibly have ADHD? I find that sometimes I can write back straight away, "butt" then other times I can be so overwhelmed with the things going on in my head, that I just can't reply. So I leave it and worry about leaving it but still leave it, until it becomes a massive mountain. So don't you worry about it girl, as you are just being you, and being honest when you talk about it. And that then has the good effect of making it much easier for all us others to talk about our feeling and thoughts that we try to hide thinking that we are alone feeling like that.
Keep on being you. 😀 we love you as you really are. 😀 xx
Thank you so much Christine, I could just hug you for all of the warm fuzzy feels your words bring me! 🥹🙏 I’m 107% sure I would be diagnosed as ADHD so… I really should give myself some grace. 🫠 And, I shall keep showing up as I am! It does my heart SO good to be seen and received as I am. ♥️♥️♥️
Well, considering I haven’t read or responded to this in over a week, I guess I shouldn’t complain too much that Megan has been too busy *LIVING* to respond to my drivel.
Girl, stop complaining (!) that you have an actual LIFE and it keeps you too busy for this. Seriously. You’re *bitching* because you have a life. Stop that. We’re here, and not going anywhere. Have FUN.