39 Comments
User's avatar
Chris ❤ 🏳‍🌈 (CDN) he/him 50+'s avatar

So. My take away is you shave your ass Crack? Oh. And remember tou are the amazing dancing queen... so that outweighs everything and just makes u fundamentally fabulous.

Expand full comment
Megan Lee's avatar

Solid takeaway! 😂😂 And, thank you. Dancing ALWAYS makes me feel better. I haven't done any dancing today yet and need to change that!

Expand full comment
Frank Freitag's avatar

With all the shit you’re owning, your music choices are right on ✌🏽

Expand full comment
Megan Lee's avatar

YES. Thank you. 🤘

Expand full comment
kaylen alexandra's avatar

^ agreed!

Expand full comment
Brianna Leigh's avatar

I’ve been listening to a parenting podcast by Robyn Gobbel called Big Baffling Behaviors (also a book)…and there are some fantastic ideas about trauma and recovery for kids and parents.

One of her sayings that is so compassionate: “your child has infinite worth”…and “YOU have infinite worth”. It’s true, but it can take time to truly know this about yourself when there is trauma and shame. I hope for all who have big feelings surrounding “am I worthy” can eventually know that they have infinite worth.

Expand full comment
Megan Lee's avatar

Thank you so much for being here, and sharing this!!! 🥹 I am absolutely going to check out that pod/book! Infinite worth... gives me longing chills... how I long to truly believe in my infinite worth. And, even though I know that's true for every soul, I still struggle to believe it for myself. And... I know that I *will*. ♥️

Expand full comment
kaylen alexandra's avatar

I know this was meant for Megan but I am going to check out the book! In my shameful parenting era looking for resources. Thank you Brianna - your comment is creating a ripple effect of goodness around here 🤍

Expand full comment
Jane Deegan's avatar

Omg! Once again I could've written most of this. It's been a crappy ass week here too and yet I feel shamed because there are other's worse off

Expand full comment
Megan Lee's avatar

Yessssss. We get to feel our feels, too. Huge hugs to you Jane! ♥️♥️♥️♥️

Expand full comment
Jane Deegan's avatar

Absolutely! You too!

Expand full comment
DIANA ADMIRE's avatar

Oh dear one.... I get you... I hate myself for sop many things... But I couldn't begin to tell you in public what for...

Our Past haunt us still...

Our Fear of being found out haunts us to this day...

And the fact you are telling us you are trying makes you the winner, the warrior, the one whom we should emulate... For So often we do not face our things... or try to understand them... And I can just say...

Without our past we would not be who we are today.

And you my dear Megan are wonderfully brave to share and care and try...

It is I whom should be shamed that I have not done the work to share how important it is to just BE...

Beeeeeee Megan

That is enough for now...

Be you

You are worthy of more than you realize.

I Admire you greatly, Write on Dearest one, Di

Expand full comment
Megan Lee's avatar

Di!!! You are worthy more than you realize, too!!!!! I've screenshotted this message, adding to my little folder of Sunshine for the Soul. Thank you times a massive number for reflecting these truths. So much wisdom and healing in them.

To simply BE... as I am, right now, oozing pain and shame and regret and darkness. That is massive. And that is healing.

May we all find healing and acceptance and step into the light, shedding our shame as we do.

🖤🖤🖤🖤

Expand full comment
kaylen alexandra's avatar

Okay Satan and Voldemort 🤣🤣 I die

And my girlllll

You are doing it!!! Feeling the rage and acknowledging the most vial parts of ourselves… why is it so rage-y?? It feels like I am both eating and breathing firey dragon breath.

Can’t wait for updates on how you move through to the next level. You are a light. 💡 xx

Expand full comment
Megan Lee's avatar

Hahahahaha so glad that gets you too!!! 😂😂

OMG this is brilliant: "both eating and breathing firey dragon breath" yessssssss. SO RAGE-Y. And... so primal??? It's like our bodies are like "yooooo, maybe it's actually OKAY to feel this shit, you're not actually a bad person?? but thinking you are a bad person and keeping it locked up for so long is what makes you feel such volcanic feelings about it?!"... and honestly.... makes sense. 🥹🙏

Thank you so much for YOUR bright light. ✨✨✨✨

Expand full comment
Tania Weatherley's avatar

Here’s to exposing the shame to the light. Such a hard thing to do but absolutely the best path to self heal. Thanks for sharing too, I think it's so important for us to share the more raw and imperfect edges of our lives to help others who feel this was also feel somewhat normal and that they are not alone.

Expand full comment
Megan Lee's avatar

Yasssss. 🥹🙏 Sharing creates such a positive ripple effect. I honestly don't think I'd be anywhere near where I am at with starting this healing journey if it wasn't for brave people who've gone before me and inspired me with their courageous sharing, shining a light on shame and showing it's possible to leave freely. 🥹♥️

Expand full comment
Mark Hayes's avatar

OK. I expected your shameful secret to be far worse. A little self-loathing is not only normal, but to my mind, actually quite healthy. It's the thing that keeps us honest.

No, there was cause for REAL shame in today's newsletter: you voluntarily listen to Nickleback.

Shudder...

Expand full comment
Megan Lee's avatar

I KNEW I was gonna get some Nickleback hate. 😂😂😂😂 Look at me leaving that in there instead of deleting out of shame! #progress hahaha

And, well..... let's just say I have a LOT more "far worse" shit to share. But... starting with honest self loathing is an honest place to start. 🙏

Expand full comment
Sam Mertens's avatar

Once you’ve started lifting the bandaid, the worst thing you can do is stop.

Expand full comment
Megan Lee's avatar

Ooooof, YES. Yes, yes, yes. 🙏

Expand full comment
Virginia Curtis's avatar

There's another point about getting through the shit to the other side. What's over there is fucking amazing. I promise you will get there. Rage away and yes, play the playlist.Bang your head until your anger falls out. Just remember that you're working it out. Once it's out in the light, it holds ZERO power over you, your choices, and your future. You run the fucking show. It's terrible (terror) to face this stuff. It can make you feel alone in the dark. Just remember that you're in the driver's seat. You can do it. I have faith in you. I'm so sorry that I'm behind in my reading. I hope to catch up this week. I'm rooting for you. Love , Virg

Expand full comment
Megan Lee's avatar

Virg, you are amazing. Thank you SO much for these wise words… Once it’s out in the light, it holds ZERO power over me. Holding this truth so dear. I’ve got this!!!!! ♥️

Expand full comment
Teri Leigh 💜's avatar

the opening line made me really think. and crack. and laugh. and well, love you more.

that said, I don't believe for a minute that you actually hate yourself. I think you just think you hate yourself. there's a big difference. If you actually hated yourself, you wouldn't write like you do. what you write is phenomenal and an awesome expression of a deep craving to suck-suck on the juice of self-love...and you can only crave that if you somewhere inside yourself HAVE it.

I love you sistah!

Expand full comment
Megan Lee's avatar

Wow… thank you so much for these beautiful (and delightful) reflections Teri Leigh!!! 🥹🙏 Currently marinating on them. ♥️ And I’m SO glad that I love myself enough to be honest with my emotions… because you’re right. That is absolutely an act of self love. 🥹🙏

p.s.— so glad the intro made you laugh. 😂😂😂

Expand full comment
Steve Strutt's avatar

Rules. Self-imposed rules, the ones that we believe will keep us safe, but only serve to lock in the suffering. There once was a time when the rules made sense to keep us safe, telling us not to be dependent on others, being independent, strong and the rest. For most of us they are now outdated and stop us leading the lives that can make us whole again.

You are doing great work. Underneath the rage is a beautiful soul wanting to be seen.

Expand full comment
Megan Lee's avatar

Thank you so very much. 🙏 A beautiful soul waiting to be seen... yes!!! 🥹♥️

Expand full comment
Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

I absolutely loved the part where you talked about the "demons of my mind" telling you horrible things and the detailed, ridiculous image of being hanged on a Tuesday at 2:11pm. It's such a specific and absurd picture, which makes it strangely relatable. We all have those inner critics that whisper (or shout) the worst things at us, and often those critics say the most ridiculously untrue things. I really appreciated when you said, "The second that I began to fully allow those horrible thoughts and feelings to be fully allowed and held… a teeny little shift happens." That’s the core right there! In just allowing the thoughts and feelings to simply be without immediately rejecting them, we start to defuse their power. You gave us such an important insight today!

Expand full comment
Megan Lee's avatar

It's so amazing when you share something vulnerable, are seen in something vulnerable, causes someone else to be seen in something, and then read those reflections and get more insights out of those reflections... sharing vulnerability creates SUCH an amazing ripple effect, and I'm so grateful for your reflections!!! 'Start to defuse their power'... YASSSS. 🙏♥️

Expand full comment
Lou Hudson's avatar

I am absolutely *THRILLED* for you that your man didn’t run and hide after you exposed yourself to him. But I’m here to tell you he’s *supposed* to support you when you need it. It’s part of the job. So in a way I’m discouraged that you thought he might abandon you over that. If you needed proof he CARES about you, there it is - you have a shoulder to cry on when the world and your own head come crashing down. Take solace in that. He’ll BE there.

Expand full comment
Megan Lee's avatar

Thank you! And... it's so interesting to me to reflect on my own experience. Shines a light on a lot of inner shit that needs to be healed. Because if a friend was telling me this, I would say *OF COURSE* your partner is there to support you, that should *NOT* be a cause for fear of abandonment. And yet, for myself, well... I clearly have some work to do when it comes to this shit. 😅 The inner mind demons are strong. And... the more I let my partner see me... the more I trust, as he so wonderfully is there for me, and the more I trust, the more I let him see me. ♥️

Expand full comment
Lou Hudson's avatar

You’ve given the impression you haven’t known him very long. If so, baring your soul was *super* courageous of you. You might’ve found a “keeper”.

Expand full comment
Megan Lee's avatar

Bingo… dating for a couple months. Still have lots more soul baring to go but my goodness… I’ve never wanted to go through the agonizing process of baring my soul more to anyone else. He’s special. ♥️

Expand full comment
Lou Hudson's avatar

You’re (both) also older, more mature, more comfortable in your own skin - even if you’re only 1% more comfortable. You’re not as afraid of showing who you truly are.

Expand full comment
Lou Hudson's avatar

“I find the phrase cock-sucking funny.

Because if you actually suck-suck on a cock I feel like you’d pop a weiners blood vessel, you know? Unless you’re into that. “

I’ve never done that, and don’t plan to. So I’ll have to take your word for it.

Expand full comment
Lou Hudson's avatar

“And now my two divided wholes are starting to face each other and it’s not unlike like shoving Spaghettios up your vagina. Fucking NASTY.”

Since I don’t have one, I’ll have to take your word for this, too.

Expand full comment
Megan Lee's avatar

😂😂😂

Expand full comment
Poetry for sanity's avatar

Thank you! From someone else carrying a shittonne of shame sandwiches. My dance therapist once said Well don’t shout shut up to the mean voices they get so angry just lower the volyme. Haven’t found the dial button yet but tried whispering if they could just lower the voice - don’t think they really heard me so I just carried on as usual. Life What a ride… When do we get to rest ? I mean och he real rest When my body remembers how to relax for real…. Hugs sister

I also believe the trolls vanish in the sunlight

Expand full comment
Megan Lee's avatar

I see you, fellow carrier of shame sandwiches!!! Yes.... REAL REST. May we find it soon!!! Here's to lots of sunlight and expelling all the shame. Hugs to you!!!

Expand full comment