Ok Megan, I am twice your age, and this considered word of advice (I've been thinking about it for a good couple of hours now) comes from my long years of experience being both a wife (twice) and a girlfriend a handful times with a couple of spontaneous flings scattered in while I was single. I am not at all conventionally attractive, I'm average-looking with small boobs and athletic build which years of riding horses gave me good legs and a great ass (so I've been told). I've been overweight at times, I've been average. I have a good smile, and good hair. I also have scars and stretchmarks. I might get a second glance from a man on a good day (or did, in my day). I have had my share of self-loathing and shame, but I have never, I repeat NEVER, had trouble finding a man (or woman) to be in a relationship with. It was not always a good man, but I mostly have had great friends and partners. I quizzed a couple of these men and was told, it's because I am open, caring, kind and I like sex. The great ass didn't hurt, but the point I'm making is that comparison is the thief of joy. Love life, enhance your inner beauty and play up your assets and be open to experiences. Drop your expectations of aligning with society's twisted obssession with youth and impossible beauty standards (yuck), and be your quirky messed up, beautiful REAL self. Put it out there. I guarantee that if you show up naked and authentic, no one is going to compare you to a Botox Bitch. You don't need to worry. Trust me and Fuck Shame. Love, Virg
*pauses in silence for the wisdom dropped in this comment*
"Love life, enhance your inner beauty and play up your assets and be open to experiences. Drop your expectations of aligning with society's twisted obssession with youth and impossible beauty standards (yuck), and be your quirky messed up, beautiful REAL self."
THANK YOU, VIRG!!!!! 🥹💕 You reflections mean so very much. And fill my heart and insecurities with a beautiful healing balm.
If I’ve learned anything over the years (and I’ve had enough more of them than you that I’m old enough to be your father - barely!), it’s that everybody feels this way. Even - no, especially - the ones you “hate” in this newsletter. But few people are brave and honest enough to admit it. And when somebody does, like you just did, it’s good for themselves and everybody who reads it because they relate. I’d say keep it up, but you don’t need some old guy on the internet telling you what to do. 😉
Okay THROW THE SMOOTHING SANITIZER OUT THE WINDOW (into a dumpster- we don’t litter)
THE TEETH!!!! This is my most shameful insecurity! And I had braces!!! The damn pearls moved around after high school.
I read an AMAZING article on here recently (I forgot by whom but I will check) that said some celebs are asking for “perfectly imperfect” veneers or fake chompers because the perfect ones are too obviously perfect?! It never ends….
You absolutely made me feel seen here.
You are so so naturally stunning and I mean that. When you do the work you shine differently and WOMAN, you GLOW. Xx
You never cease to make me feel ALL THE FEELS!!!! And that opener HAHAHAH 🫶
And you feel me on the TEETH!!!! feels seen x a bazillion 🥹 Alas, I had braces too and FML. And, to make it more aggravating, I have siblings who have PERFECT teeth, no braces, no enamel issues. Sobs.
HOLD UP— CELEBS ARE NOW TRYING TO GET PERFECTLY IMPERFECT I CANNOT HAHAHAHAHA. 😭😂😭😂 Jesus have mercy.
Anywho, thank you SO much for your kind words, my whole being is glowing with your love and light!!!! 💕🫶✨💝
I re-entered the dating scene at the age of 40. Spent four years questioning myself and all the prettier women out there. Especially feeling “too old” for dating apps. And after awhile feeling “too introverted” for dating.
Then I met my Hobbit. On a dating app. One of the free ones. At age 44.
You got this!
And you’re beautiful! This whole post is full of raw authentic non-Botox organic natural beauty.
I have officially been offended by the blatant vulgarity of this post.....just kidding. I love how you just YOU. So much of what you've written resonates with me (and I died laughing - I was reading on the toilet so luckily I can't say I pissed myself laughing - at so many things you said). It's dumb how HARD it can be to literally just BE, right? It's somehow the easiest, most exhilarating thing in the world, and yet, it can be so fucking scary and excruciating. Your vulnerability is such a breath of fresh air. You always seem to put words to emotions and thoughts that I find difficult to define. Keep being you, boo. I think you're kicking ass. 🤗
Beaming, chuckling, and heart felt feeling right now after reading your words!!!! Thank you HHMC! ☕️💕 I’m so glad you’re here, thank you for sharing these thoughts! THE SIMPLEST SHIT CAN BE THE HARDEST SHIT. 😭 And, sharing the thoughts, the vulnerable, messy thoughts, is oh so up-lifting to my soul, ESPECIALLY with a community like this. 🫶🫶🫶
I really relate to this post. Even my complexion and pore size relates. I feel all these feels too and am a newly single mom at 33 with an actually physically wrecked body from child birth and rearing. I struggle with my self image even though I’m not dating because I know one day I will… and the clock is only ticking which means I only get older which means these festering insecurities will grow bigger which means… I need to work on being the love of my life. For myself. No one else. And maybe one day, there will be someone else. Most likely a women since the MAJORITY of men are abusive, even on their good days…. But then I cycle back to my body and insecurities as I still want male physical intimacy, which means I want to be attractive with the body of a 24 year old and the self confidence of a 40 year old, but I have the self confidence of a 24 year old and the body of a 40 year old… And the cycle repeats. It’s a mind fuck sometimes and I try not to judge myself for these feels. However. I am 100% secure that this topic is worthy of introspection and time spent exploring - thank you for your vulnerability and sharing.
Oh Savannah, sending you a big hug!!! Thank you for being here, and sharing this comment with me. I see you, and feel the cycle of ruminating thoughts. Ohhhh the vicious cycle!!! Here’s to loving ourselves completely, and being the woman we want to be. 💛💛💛
I don't hate Botox bitches. I hate the societal standards that makes it unacceptable to grow old. To have wrinkles. To get us to buy so much product, and makeup, and hair, and nails, and waxes, and dermaplaning, and on and on it goes.
I can't help but wonder if it's to ensure women are caught up in capitalism.
I love your post! Your humor added to such a heavy topic is refreshing. 👏
💛💛💛 Thank you SO much for your beautiful reflections, Sam! Thank you for seeing me, for being here, and adding your wisdom. I appreciate you so much!!! 💕
'Maybe one day, I'll get to simply just be myself, instead of fighting to be myself.'
AHHHH. It's so true, isn't it? We spend so much energy trying to fit into a mold that we forget who we truly are. Your journey of self-acceptance is inspiring, and it reminds me that it's okay to be a work in progress. We're all just figuring it out one day at a time.
I think I have a constant ticker tape running along the bottom of my brain-screen that points out ALL my imperfections and stupid things I’ve said and …. Yeah.
I’ve been married for as long as you’ve been alive. AAAAAAUUUGGGHHHHH (that’s me running screaming). I have NEVER felt right about myself, although looking back I was absolutely hot af. Now I’m just temperature hot af and old, AND FAT. I STILL can’t get along with how I look. Daily fight. I cannot imagine…no, I wouldn’t try to date. I can be happy at home with my cats. I don’t even WANT to know what anyone thinks of me anymore!!!
😂 I appreciate you so much!!!! (That second sentence though hahahaha 🤣) And honestly, my goals are to not care what anyone thinks of me 🫶🙏 well, unless they think I look great. 😂
There are many men that find the homogenous/post-human look of a manipulated face and body to be unattractive. There is so much to love and appreciate in a woman or man that ages naturally and gracefully and confidently. The lines on someone's face - call them wrinkles if you must - are beautiful! I see women who are 40, 50 or 60+ years young who don't have work and they are infinitely more attractive to me. Signs of a life lived. Define your own standards of beauty and surround yourself with people aligned with those standards rather than anything society is projecting from its arguably rotting core.
Okay first of all this title is *chefs kiss* 🤌🏼 !! and second of all, you are stunning and your writing is too!! and lastly, the money saved on Botox can be invested in solo dates, solo trips and solo dinners, because it will make your skin glow even more than Botox ever could!!
Ok Megan, I am twice your age, and this considered word of advice (I've been thinking about it for a good couple of hours now) comes from my long years of experience being both a wife (twice) and a girlfriend a handful times with a couple of spontaneous flings scattered in while I was single. I am not at all conventionally attractive, I'm average-looking with small boobs and athletic build which years of riding horses gave me good legs and a great ass (so I've been told). I've been overweight at times, I've been average. I have a good smile, and good hair. I also have scars and stretchmarks. I might get a second glance from a man on a good day (or did, in my day). I have had my share of self-loathing and shame, but I have never, I repeat NEVER, had trouble finding a man (or woman) to be in a relationship with. It was not always a good man, but I mostly have had great friends and partners. I quizzed a couple of these men and was told, it's because I am open, caring, kind and I like sex. The great ass didn't hurt, but the point I'm making is that comparison is the thief of joy. Love life, enhance your inner beauty and play up your assets and be open to experiences. Drop your expectations of aligning with society's twisted obssession with youth and impossible beauty standards (yuck), and be your quirky messed up, beautiful REAL self. Put it out there. I guarantee that if you show up naked and authentic, no one is going to compare you to a Botox Bitch. You don't need to worry. Trust me and Fuck Shame. Love, Virg
*pauses in silence for the wisdom dropped in this comment*
"Love life, enhance your inner beauty and play up your assets and be open to experiences. Drop your expectations of aligning with society's twisted obssession with youth and impossible beauty standards (yuck), and be your quirky messed up, beautiful REAL self."
THANK YOU, VIRG!!!!! 🥹💕 You reflections mean so very much. And fill my heart and insecurities with a beautiful healing balm.
This! This right here! Nailed it in every way! 👏
➕
Megan, I love your writing. There's nothing better than an insecure bad-ass.
You've made a seventy-five year old arthritic lady smile this morning. Thank you!
Susan! I’m smiling so big right now reading YOUR words!!! 😁🙏💕 Thank you so much for being here, you are amazing and spreading so much cheer. 🫶
If I’ve learned anything over the years (and I’ve had enough more of them than you that I’m old enough to be your father - barely!), it’s that everybody feels this way. Even - no, especially - the ones you “hate” in this newsletter. But few people are brave and honest enough to admit it. And when somebody does, like you just did, it’s good for themselves and everybody who reads it because they relate. I’d say keep it up, but you don’t need some old guy on the internet telling you what to do. 😉
💛🙏 Thank you so much for these reflective words, Sam! They mean a lot. I was quite nervous to publish this, but I’m so glad I did. 🙌
Okay THROW THE SMOOTHING SANITIZER OUT THE WINDOW (into a dumpster- we don’t litter)
THE TEETH!!!! This is my most shameful insecurity! And I had braces!!! The damn pearls moved around after high school.
I read an AMAZING article on here recently (I forgot by whom but I will check) that said some celebs are asking for “perfectly imperfect” veneers or fake chompers because the perfect ones are too obviously perfect?! It never ends….
You absolutely made me feel seen here.
You are so so naturally stunning and I mean that. When you do the work you shine differently and WOMAN, you GLOW. Xx
You never cease to make me feel ALL THE FEELS!!!! And that opener HAHAHAH 🫶
And you feel me on the TEETH!!!! feels seen x a bazillion 🥹 Alas, I had braces too and FML. And, to make it more aggravating, I have siblings who have PERFECT teeth, no braces, no enamel issues. Sobs.
HOLD UP— CELEBS ARE NOW TRYING TO GET PERFECTLY IMPERFECT I CANNOT HAHAHAHAHA. 😭😂😭😂 Jesus have mercy.
Anywho, thank you SO much for your kind words, my whole being is glowing with your love and light!!!! 💕🫶✨💝
Stop it RIGHT NOW my siblings all have PERFECT teeth too?! My eyes are leaking - you always send the glow right back. 😭 ✨
OMG!! 🫶
Related. Hard. 😂🫶
And FYI you’re stunning
Right, and right?!?!
THANK YOU FOR RELATING TO THIS. 🥹 And, you're so kind!! 😘
Wait, that's not you in the picture?! 😅
😂 Don, you win “Comment that made Megan LOL Award”. 🏆
Yay I win! 😊
I re-entered the dating scene at the age of 40. Spent four years questioning myself and all the prettier women out there. Especially feeling “too old” for dating apps. And after awhile feeling “too introverted” for dating.
Then I met my Hobbit. On a dating app. One of the free ones. At age 44.
You got this!
And you’re beautiful! This whole post is full of raw authentic non-Botox organic natural beauty.
Love you.
I love you TL! 🥹💛 Thank you for this beautiful comment. Your and Hobbit’s romance gives me all the happy feels. 🫶🫶🫶
I have officially been offended by the blatant vulgarity of this post.....just kidding. I love how you just YOU. So much of what you've written resonates with me (and I died laughing - I was reading on the toilet so luckily I can't say I pissed myself laughing - at so many things you said). It's dumb how HARD it can be to literally just BE, right? It's somehow the easiest, most exhilarating thing in the world, and yet, it can be so fucking scary and excruciating. Your vulnerability is such a breath of fresh air. You always seem to put words to emotions and thoughts that I find difficult to define. Keep being you, boo. I think you're kicking ass. 🤗
Beaming, chuckling, and heart felt feeling right now after reading your words!!!! Thank you HHMC! ☕️💕 I’m so glad you’re here, thank you for sharing these thoughts! THE SIMPLEST SHIT CAN BE THE HARDEST SHIT. 😭 And, sharing the thoughts, the vulnerable, messy thoughts, is oh so up-lifting to my soul, ESPECIALLY with a community like this. 🫶🫶🫶
I really relate to this post. Even my complexion and pore size relates. I feel all these feels too and am a newly single mom at 33 with an actually physically wrecked body from child birth and rearing. I struggle with my self image even though I’m not dating because I know one day I will… and the clock is only ticking which means I only get older which means these festering insecurities will grow bigger which means… I need to work on being the love of my life. For myself. No one else. And maybe one day, there will be someone else. Most likely a women since the MAJORITY of men are abusive, even on their good days…. But then I cycle back to my body and insecurities as I still want male physical intimacy, which means I want to be attractive with the body of a 24 year old and the self confidence of a 40 year old, but I have the self confidence of a 24 year old and the body of a 40 year old… And the cycle repeats. It’s a mind fuck sometimes and I try not to judge myself for these feels. However. I am 100% secure that this topic is worthy of introspection and time spent exploring - thank you for your vulnerability and sharing.
Oh Savannah, sending you a big hug!!! Thank you for being here, and sharing this comment with me. I see you, and feel the cycle of ruminating thoughts. Ohhhh the vicious cycle!!! Here’s to loving ourselves completely, and being the woman we want to be. 💛💛💛
I don't hate Botox bitches. I hate the societal standards that makes it unacceptable to grow old. To have wrinkles. To get us to buy so much product, and makeup, and hair, and nails, and waxes, and dermaplaning, and on and on it goes.
I can't help but wonder if it's to ensure women are caught up in capitalism.
I love your post! Your humor added to such a heavy topic is refreshing. 👏
💛💛💛 Thank you SO much for your beautiful reflections, Sam! Thank you for seeing me, for being here, and adding your wisdom. I appreciate you so much!!! 💕
you are the best!
'Maybe one day, I'll get to simply just be myself, instead of fighting to be myself.'
AHHHH. It's so true, isn't it? We spend so much energy trying to fit into a mold that we forget who we truly are. Your journey of self-acceptance is inspiring, and it reminds me that it's okay to be a work in progress. We're all just figuring it out one day at a time.
🙏 HERE'S TO BEING BEAUTIFUL WORKS IN PROGRESS!!! Thank you so much for these wonderful reflections! ✨
God....the way I felt that line in my SOUL when I read it...
That line resonated with me as well!
I feel ya.
I think I have a constant ticker tape running along the bottom of my brain-screen that points out ALL my imperfections and stupid things I’ve said and …. Yeah.
😂😂💛 Constant ticker tape… FELT!!! 😭😂 I so appreciate you, thank you for being you! 💕
I couldn’t figure out who else to be!
💛 😂 SAME!
I’ve been married for as long as you’ve been alive. AAAAAAUUUGGGHHHHH (that’s me running screaming). I have NEVER felt right about myself, although looking back I was absolutely hot af. Now I’m just temperature hot af and old, AND FAT. I STILL can’t get along with how I look. Daily fight. I cannot imagine…no, I wouldn’t try to date. I can be happy at home with my cats. I don’t even WANT to know what anyone thinks of me anymore!!!
😂 I appreciate you so much!!!! (That second sentence though hahahaha 🤣) And honestly, my goals are to not care what anyone thinks of me 🫶🙏 well, unless they think I look great. 😂
Substack’s ability to land content on my home page that makes me feel seen is unnerving.
Thank you for this !
🥹 I’m so glad you’re here, and thank you so much for your kind words! I’m so so so glad you feel seen. 🫶🫶🫶
There are many men that find the homogenous/post-human look of a manipulated face and body to be unattractive. There is so much to love and appreciate in a woman or man that ages naturally and gracefully and confidently. The lines on someone's face - call them wrinkles if you must - are beautiful! I see women who are 40, 50 or 60+ years young who don't have work and they are infinitely more attractive to me. Signs of a life lived. Define your own standards of beauty and surround yourself with people aligned with those standards rather than anything society is projecting from its arguably rotting core.
Thank you so much for sharing this!!! Such beautiful wisdom in your words that I shall take to heart. 💛🙏
Okay first of all this title is *chefs kiss* 🤌🏼 !! and second of all, you are stunning and your writing is too!! and lastly, the money saved on Botox can be invested in solo dates, solo trips and solo dinners, because it will make your skin glow even more than Botox ever could!!
🥹💕💕 THANK YOU FOR YOUR WORDS!!! THEY MAKE ME GLOW. 🥰 And hellllll yes to spending money on adventures. I want alllllllllll that glow. ❤️🔥