Want to Read My Private Journal?

One Gulping Newsletter Announcement.

Welcome to Shame Sandwich, where Megan feels equal parts shame and glee in sharing hilarious personal thought rants every Friday. Sometimes on shame, sometimes shame infused, and other times, nothing to do with shame. Enjoy responsibly.

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Gulps.

Gulps again.

Get’s distracted by said gulping.

Starts to disassociate because she’s said the word gulping too many times.

Ponders what the word gulping means anymore.

MEGAN.

Fucking focus!!!!!

Christ.

😂😂😂😂

Ok, hi, hello.

I have a very special announcement to make and since I’m so nervous excited about it, I decided to make a VIDEO TALKING ABOUT IT!!!

So. Gulp. Without further ado—

I present to your eyeballs and earballs, my super exciting announcement video!!!

Please watch and then read below because I feel like I have to overexplain myself because I have issues.

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.

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😁😁😁😁😁😁

I’m honestly beaming right now. Fine it’s a slightly shameful beam but beaming nonetheless.

I’M GOING TO SEND MY PAID SUBSCRIBERS SNAIL MAIL JOURNAL PAGES ARE YOU BLEEPING KIDDING ME?!?!?!

This feels sooooooooo fun. 😍😍😍

I just LOVE the idea of snail-mailed shit 🥹 but not literally because that would be disgusting but then again is snail jizz and snail shit one and the same????? do they jizz and shit at the same time for them? What an experience that must be. MEGAN. ok I’m stopping and for the record, I know my face cream isn’t actual snail jizz but wait I don’t know that for sure hmmmmm.

LOOOOOOOVE IT. 🐌📫

(((In fact, I want my future man to hand write me shit and mail it to me because how adorable and romantic would that be?!?!?!)))

Anywho.

I’M SO EXCITED!!!

Are you excited to read my private journal entries too?!?!?!

Then become an annual paid subscriber by January 31st and you will get the $50 per year price before it goes up!

You could easily blow $50 buying 37 rolls of ultra-strong toilet paper. No judgement.

AND/OR— you could also blow $50 on supporting the arts and one of your favorite writers insert mortifyingly shamefully gleeful emoji depicting myself at this current moment after that last statement who sends you 52 day-brightening newsletters per year AND— get sent Shame Sandwich Snail Mail of Megan’s private journal thoughts mailed directly to you 4x per year!!!!!

All for just one annual price of $50 if you join before 1/31.

;alskjdf ladfj ;LSDFG;LKJ Sl;jxcg pow8es lkG LK;KDFA DFL;KJG E4IFL;KJ lkfj opaflk;gj F;l498u4u4fll KF;LKASJG DFLkf;jlkasd ;sdklfj a84op[was fll; a L;KFJLK ASL;IF2Q9RIJ DFL;KJA~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

^I short-circuited, sorry.

I can’t decide if that’s an amazing deal or I’m worse than a slumlord for suggesting people pay me $50 per year in exchange for snail mail.

YIKES.

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HOLY HAIRY NIPPLES I cannot believe I made a VIDEO and sent it to you, with zero editing involved. 🫣😂

EEEEEEK!

And now, I must leave you because I fear I’ve overstayed my welcome and the full weight of what I’ve just set into motion is cascading down upon me. 😂

Have the bestest weekend!!!!!!!

-M

p.s. - I know this newsletter was kinda promo-y but ass dicks we gotta promote ourselves SOMEHOW, right??? The good news is that literally nothing is changing about my Shame Sandwich newsletter. Every Friday will be the same beautiful blasphemy (sometimes more serious sometimes more hilarous) into your inbox. 🥰 (But if you want in on the private journal entries, then you gotta upgrade to paid and I’ll snail mail ‘em to you. 🔥)

p.p.s - To the wonderful people who are already paid subscribers, you will be getting an email from me at 3pm CT with a form to submit your snail mail address! And if for whatever reason you don’t want to get snail mail, no worries! You don’t have to do so.

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Hi, hello! You just read Shame Sandwich where I, Megan, share some monthly recap shit with you in the only way I know how: blasphemously.

If you liked this, it would mean the world if you could tap the lil ‘heart’, comment or share button! Want to give me a shame heart attack? Support my writing with a paid subscription. 🖤

Upgrade to Paid and Get Megan’s Private Journal Entries SNAIL MAILED TO YOU, by way of Shame Sandwich couriour. 🐌 Upgrade by 1/31 and it’s only $50 per year forever!!!