The Lion Almost Ate Me.

The Lite Shame Sandwich ::: No. 012

Welcome to Shame Sandwich, where Megan feels equal parts shame and glee in sharing hilarious personal essays, thoughts, and dear-diary-esque rants every Friday. Sometimes on shame, sometimes shame infused, and other times, nothing to do with shame. Enjoy responsibly.

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November Recap

It’s 12:11pm right now, and I feel like I’ve got a lion-on-my-ass-who-hasn’t-eaten-since-last-Tuesday-and-just-yesterday-watched-his-satanic-evil-twin-brother-eat-the-entire-Gazelle-Thanksgiving-Feast-without-him sized pressure on my ass to get this newsletter written and out before a shamefully late time!!!!

God!!!!!! It’s like my evil inner critic is working over holiday time to make me feel like every single subscriber I have is going to shit me out like yesterday’s Thanksgiving feast ← I did not just write that hahahaha and never have anything to do with me again if I don’t send out my newsletter at the “oPtImAl tImE”.

Which, of course, IS SOMETIME BEFORE EVERYONE COMPLETELY CHECKS OUT FOR THE WEEKEND!!!!

Sending out a Friday email is not without its risks. 😂

Personally I’m in the BEST moods on Fridays, because, helllllllllo weekend!!!!!

But also, once people get to the helllllllllo weekened part of Friday, I’m quite convinced my newsletter will be lost in their inbox forever.

And now I feel morally obligated to state the obvious:

I’m probably busting my ass for no reason. My U.S. Thanksgiving celebrating homies are probably either in a) Turkey hangover state or b) in Black Friday chaos so the fact that you’re reading this right now is REALLY, REALLY stirring up something emotional in my soul right now. 🥹

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And, speaking of Turkey ← hell yeah it gets the capitalization hangovers, I just have to say a quick note of Thanksgiving Gratitude.

While I have many things to be thankful for this year, fuck I literally just started getting emotional for what is about to come forth!!!!! I am so so so so so so so sooooooooooo Thankful ← why the fuck am I capitalizing everything today???? for the fact that I launched my newsletter this year, and for the amazing community of subscribers and supporters.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

GODDAMNIT I’M WELLING UP RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!! ← the therapist I don’t have would probably say that it’s a problem to be so negative about displays of emotion. Huh.

HOLY SNAKESKIN OIL SALESMAN, I JUST REALIZED THAT TOMORROW IS MY 6 MONTH SUBSTACK ANNIVERSARY, TOO.

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On May 31st, 2024 I published my first newsletter. 🥹 I fought every shameful instinct I had to cover up, soften my swears, and appear more ‘normal’… and hit publish on a newsletter that was unfiltered, sweary, hilarious, me.

😭😭😭😭😭

To the un-shameful human, this might seem like a ‘who fucking caaaaaaaaares 🙄’ moment, but to my shame-battered-soul?

That one act of defiance has completely transformed my life these last 6 months.

// I’ve got my sparkle back.

// I’m laughing so much more.

// My confidence in myself is blooming.

// My soul is shining.

// I feel creativity flowing.

// My shame is loosening*.

// I’m letting the real me be loved.

😭😭😭😭

*😬 but still screaming at me

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And so this Thanksgiving, I am so so so grateful that I did the thing I wanted to do… write, as myself. 🥹

And, I am so so so grateful that YOU are here with me on this journey, too.

And you, you make my art and energy be seen. And I am endlessly humbled and grateful for that. It’s one thing to create in the darkness. And it’s something entirely different when you share in the light. 🥹🙏

Thank you for being here with me. 🖤

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Now that I let things take a VERY sappy emotional turn, I think it’s time to get into today’s Lite Shame Sammie!!!! .

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WAIT!!!!! Time check 😂 It is now 12:44pm!!!!!! That hangry lion is getting closer!!!!!! hahahah

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What I’m Loving:

ROUTINES!!!!!!!!!!! I had no idea what was going to pop up here but here we are. 😂 And it’s true. I’m realizing I really thrive on routines, and do the opposite of thrive when I have no routine. 😂 wait what IS the opposite of thrive???? lol

My morning and night time routines have gotten even better the last couple of weeks and y’all. I’m just so overcome with joy. 🥹

What I’m Substacking:

Say Yes to Independence by Katherine Johnson Martinko. Bravo, mama!!!! Teaching our kids independence and the beauty of self-confidence is so powerful. People Pleasing Obligatory Statement: Nuance, always. Every kiddo is different, every circumstance is different. Common sense and safety are of course extremely important. And? So is letting kiddos try and do and become. Within reason, of course. 💛

It’s Obviously the Phones Magdalene J. Taylor. 11/10. Highly recommend the read, and then sharing with everyone you know. 😂🙏

Crying in H-Mart, if H-Mart was Target by K. Alexandra. Y’all. 😭 I’m obsessed with Miss K’s distinctive, soul-soothing writing, (+ she always throws in some hilarious sarcasm, too. 😂🙏) And, this one is just so so so beautiful. 🥹💛

How to respond when someone pisses you off — courtesy of a very smart taxi driver by Michael Thompson. The garbage truck metaphor has been rattling around in my brain since reading this!!!! What an astonishingly profound, beautiful lesson wrapped up in this story. 🥹🙏

Why is Wellness So Fucking Annoying? by TPWSYL. Not going to lie, this one triggered me a bit. But in a healthy way. 😂 I JUST WANT THE QUICK FIXES, YOU KNOW? I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO TAKE A CBD-INFUSED CLUSTERFUCK OF A CONCOCTION AND BE WELL, YOU FEEL ME?? 😭😂 But alas, it’s the whole foods, and not quick fixes that will save us. With that being said, I think that stress is the real evil culprit lurking behind almost all ailments. If taking your greens makes you feel less stressed? Then I’d rather you do that than a stressed-to-the-max clean eater. Not looking at me at all. 😭😂

Stocious Shenanigans and Drunken Dublinian Debauchery by Daniel Puzzo. This was such a fun, delightful, educating and hilarious read!!!! Plus, it takes place in the Emerald Isle. Which, of course, makes me love it even more. 🥹

What I’m Audio-Booking:

Omg so I JUST finished Alchemy: The Dark Art of Creating Magic by Rory Sutherland in the car this morning as I got back from dropping my daughter at her grandparents!

If you’re a human behavior nerd x marketing space nerd… I could not recommend this book more. 10/10!!!

I want to blast this book in front of anyone who makes boring-ass life/business/marketing decisions specifically my company but i didn’t say that.

So, I’m going to be starting December with a wide-open audio-book slate!! I can’t wait to see what I listen to next.

What I’m Reading:

I finished The Alice Network: A Novel by Kate Quinn.

And……100000000/10!!!!!!! Need I say more????? 😭 I didn’t know perfection existed like this.

Naturally, I was terrified of what to read next, because how does one follow up with perfection?! So I settled on A Day of Fire by Kate Quinn (+ 5 other writers!!!!) and it was the perfect next read!!!! It’s SO good.

What I’m Watching:

I’m on the final season of Vikings: Valaha!!! Loooove it!!!!

And. 🙈 DON’T JUDGE ME BUT.

I maaaaaaaaaaay or may not have gotten back into Below Deck, Mediterranean this last week.

I watched just a wee bit in Ireland last year because it was on Netflix Europe, but then when my hairdresser mentioned it’s on Peacock, I LOST ALL SELF CONTROL AND STARTED WATCHING IT AGAIN. FML. BUT, IT’S LIKE, THE HOLIDAYS, SO I’M TELLING MYSELF IT’S A GIFT TO MYSELF TO INDULGE IN THIS DIRTY SECRET?!?!?!

Obsessed. 😭😂 Almost done with Season 1! 🥹

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Holey black Friday hell it’s 1:19pm now!!!!!!!!! I can feel that deranged lion’s breath on my heel!!!

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Aaaaaaaand, that’s a wrap on this month’s recap!!!!

To those who Thanksgiving’d, I hope you got to eat ALL THE DELCIOUS FOODS!!!! miraculously I got through without needing a tugboat to get me home and have the bestest rest of your weekend!!!! 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Love y’all!!!

-M

p.s. - I’m going to decorate for Christmas this weekend with my daughter. We’re SO excited!!!!! 😍🎄😍🎄😍🎄

p.p.s - it’s 1:32pm and I JUST ran into my cave and sealed myself in, that psycho lion cannot eat my now. 🥹🙏 I’m so proud of myself for getting this sent out before 1pm 2pm my time. hahaha.

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Hi, hello! You just read Lite Shame Sandwich where I, Megan, share some monthly recap shit with you in the only way I know how: blasphemously.

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