Your post resonated so so so soooooo much 😭 I constantly feel the same and even had a neurotransmitter test done and sure enough my catecholamines are completely trashed (super low dopamine, nori and epi) which explains my adhd being in overdrive even MORE than normal .. just been so hard like plodding through quicksand every damn day .. been taking Tyrosine to try to help (which it does slightly) but I refuse to take stimulants like adderall anymore, they only tax my already shot adrenals even more than they need to be so .. just. No. Anyway, thank you for making me feel less alone today.
Hugs 😭 so may hugs. Thank you for reading and making me feel less alone. I’m so glad this made you feel the same. 🫶 And, thank you for teaching me new things!!! I hadn’t even heard of that c word before (small wins in a test confirming you’re not cray cray 🥹😭) lol or the t supplement but I shall be looking into it!!!
awww yes - and sadly, there is a link between low catecholamines and addiction because people w low catecholamines basically just want to feel NORMAL so we reach for substances or people for stim (whatever it may be) but it’s not bc we feel like being idiots it’s literally just a bid to feel normal.
Somehow as I was reading it I heard your voice in my head...which led me to think "Gosh! An attached audio from Megan's voice would be fucking cool!"
Anyways...that was a side thought.
Somehow the image I saw was you moving at rapid speed and also feeling stuck at the same exact time you know? I don't know if it makes sense. Everytime I read your this kind of writing...i can feel your power even more Megan! And it calls out like a siren to the right souls! Keep expressing yourself fully and Irrevocably my friend!
I agree with the commenter who talked about change in perspective. My therapist and I call it “reframing.” I also agree with the commenter who talked about possible physical complications. I’m having a “hiccup” in my journey and am considering a reevaluation of all my meds. Since I’m mentally ill it won’t be thru my primary care, I’ll have to find a shrink or psychiatric nurse practitioner who can do it. One of my besties reminded me to check out the physical stuff that might be happening. Her father was a doctor and she said he would always tell patients that if something seemed to be happening mentally/emotionally to check out the physical as well since that could be at least part of the problem. Guess that’s gonna be on my agenda. Hang in there, my friend. There’s a Nelson Mandela quote at my gym, I never lose. I either win or I learn. (Not sure those are the exact words.)
Good luck on trying to lose the stuck. It's certainly nothing to feel bad about. Over stimulation of thoughts and the paralysis this causes is so genuine and so real for so many. You are always moving in the right direction through therapy, through writing. Keep on truckin' Megan.
You are so brave. Naming this and fighting it means you are a badass bitch. Fuck shame. This battle will be won, and you will move forward. The best is yet to come. Love, Virg
Thank you for your vulnerability! How I feel this! And the shame of staying on the rollercoaster of nowhereness instead of doing one small thing that would likely be enough to stop the loop. If only we could rewire our brains to distinguish our worth from our productivity. I know it, but I don’t believe it. How is it that we don’t have control of our own brains? It’s maddening.
I hope you have a magical weekend, and that your brain allows you peace.
What are you doing in my head? First last weeks, why can't I be happy, and now this weeks, I'm stuck. I so resonate with where you are at. Some days the veil of shame feels lighter, other days it's a weight around my neck dragging me down. Be assured that you are not the only one on this journey.
Don’t let this long winter contribute to your malaise. We’re all STUCK to one extent or another. Obviously we’re all here for you, so you must be doing *something* right.
It’s the old saying: “If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got.”
Do you know I've recently admitted and described my emotions as
Bouncing around on a childs bouncy castle
Jumping up and down on a gymnasts trampoline
Skydiving without a parachute
Have recently, only recently albeit struggling got some reins on my emotional kite.
But fierce winds do blow.
My mind races, darts from one thing to another. whizzes at 3+ times faster than those that surround me
Annoys others intensely, drives them mad, and me mad when they can't see the connections that are blindingly obvious to me.
I love driving alone on long drives. Entirely focused and alert. Playing my music compilations that go from loud and rocky, bluesy, jazzy
Quiet and chilled all at an impossibly loud volume every genre one to the other. Nobody else could stand it ( might be playing Go let it out by Oasis or It's my life by Let Babylon burn or Let it be by Blazing Violins).
My mind can focus then think of a myriad of other things
It is wonderfully settling, balancing . I chill out in this emotional vortex. Stress levels low.
Does this make any sense.
I know I am too much sometimes for others. Have recently lost a special friend because of it.
But only sometimes just wish to be heard, not fixed or restored.
I am in truth post Hormone therapy for cancer treatment and my abnormalities are apparently quite normal.
So I'm not surprised that your wonderfully crazy post, relaxes you at all.
I hear you
You are not alone
Wish you well even if personally I don't see anything wrong.
It is ok for you to be you.
Thank you for showing that perhaps I'm not alone as well.
You are unstuck enough to have written a post about how stuck you are, and put it on your Substack.
So give yourself a hug, make a cup of hot chocolate (or whatever your comfort warm drink is), snuggle into your comfie chair wrapped in a warm fuzzy blanket, and know that you are doing way more than most of us to get to where you want to go!
Your post resonated so so so soooooo much 😭 I constantly feel the same and even had a neurotransmitter test done and sure enough my catecholamines are completely trashed (super low dopamine, nori and epi) which explains my adhd being in overdrive even MORE than normal .. just been so hard like plodding through quicksand every damn day .. been taking Tyrosine to try to help (which it does slightly) but I refuse to take stimulants like adderall anymore, they only tax my already shot adrenals even more than they need to be so .. just. No. Anyway, thank you for making me feel less alone today.
Hugs 😭 so may hugs. Thank you for reading and making me feel less alone. I’m so glad this made you feel the same. 🫶 And, thank you for teaching me new things!!! I hadn’t even heard of that c word before (small wins in a test confirming you’re not cray cray 🥹😭) lol or the t supplement but I shall be looking into it!!!
awww yes - and sadly, there is a link between low catecholamines and addiction because people w low catecholamines basically just want to feel NORMAL so we reach for substances or people for stim (whatever it may be) but it’s not bc we feel like being idiots it’s literally just a bid to feel normal.
a slight shift in perspective can turn stuckness to stillness.🦄
YES. And this is why I write. 🥹🙏
You may feel stuck. But we're still reading you.
Thank you so very much. 🥹🙏🙌🖤
Somehow as I was reading it I heard your voice in my head...which led me to think "Gosh! An attached audio from Megan's voice would be fucking cool!"
Anyways...that was a side thought.
Somehow the image I saw was you moving at rapid speed and also feeling stuck at the same exact time you know? I don't know if it makes sense. Everytime I read your this kind of writing...i can feel your power even more Megan! And it calls out like a siren to the right souls! Keep expressing yourself fully and Irrevocably my friend!
I agree with the commenter who talked about change in perspective. My therapist and I call it “reframing.” I also agree with the commenter who talked about possible physical complications. I’m having a “hiccup” in my journey and am considering a reevaluation of all my meds. Since I’m mentally ill it won’t be thru my primary care, I’ll have to find a shrink or psychiatric nurse practitioner who can do it. One of my besties reminded me to check out the physical stuff that might be happening. Her father was a doctor and she said he would always tell patients that if something seemed to be happening mentally/emotionally to check out the physical as well since that could be at least part of the problem. Guess that’s gonna be on my agenda. Hang in there, my friend. There’s a Nelson Mandela quote at my gym, I never lose. I either win or I learn. (Not sure those are the exact words.)
Good luck on trying to lose the stuck. It's certainly nothing to feel bad about. Over stimulation of thoughts and the paralysis this causes is so genuine and so real for so many. You are always moving in the right direction through therapy, through writing. Keep on truckin' Megan.
You are so brave. Naming this and fighting it means you are a badass bitch. Fuck shame. This battle will be won, and you will move forward. The best is yet to come. Love, Virg
Thank you for your vulnerability! How I feel this! And the shame of staying on the rollercoaster of nowhereness instead of doing one small thing that would likely be enough to stop the loop. If only we could rewire our brains to distinguish our worth from our productivity. I know it, but I don’t believe it. How is it that we don’t have control of our own brains? It’s maddening.
I hope you have a magical weekend, and that your brain allows you peace.
What are you doing in my head? First last weeks, why can't I be happy, and now this weeks, I'm stuck. I so resonate with where you are at. Some days the veil of shame feels lighter, other days it's a weight around my neck dragging me down. Be assured that you are not the only one on this journey.
Don’t let this long winter contribute to your malaise. We’re all STUCK to one extent or another. Obviously we’re all here for you, so you must be doing *something* right.
It’s the old saying: “If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got.”
Do you know I've recently admitted and described my emotions as
Bouncing around on a childs bouncy castle
Jumping up and down on a gymnasts trampoline
Skydiving without a parachute
Have recently, only recently albeit struggling got some reins on my emotional kite.
But fierce winds do blow.
My mind races, darts from one thing to another. whizzes at 3+ times faster than those that surround me
Annoys others intensely, drives them mad, and me mad when they can't see the connections that are blindingly obvious to me.
I love driving alone on long drives. Entirely focused and alert. Playing my music compilations that go from loud and rocky, bluesy, jazzy
Quiet and chilled all at an impossibly loud volume every genre one to the other. Nobody else could stand it ( might be playing Go let it out by Oasis or It's my life by Let Babylon burn or Let it be by Blazing Violins).
My mind can focus then think of a myriad of other things
It is wonderfully settling, balancing . I chill out in this emotional vortex. Stress levels low.
Does this make any sense.
I know I am too much sometimes for others. Have recently lost a special friend because of it.
But only sometimes just wish to be heard, not fixed or restored.
I am in truth post Hormone therapy for cancer treatment and my abnormalities are apparently quite normal.
So I'm not surprised that your wonderfully crazy post, relaxes you at all.
I hear you
You are not alone
Wish you well even if personally I don't see anything wrong.
It is ok for you to be you.
Thank you for showing that perhaps I'm not alone as well.
Well… at least you’re in good company.
You are unstuck enough to have written a post about how stuck you are, and put it on your Substack.
So give yourself a hug, make a cup of hot chocolate (or whatever your comfort warm drink is), snuggle into your comfie chair wrapped in a warm fuzzy blanket, and know that you are doing way more than most of us to get to where you want to go!
You may be stuck, but you are definitely not alone. You are more courageous than you give your self credit for. This was courageous.
I could have written a lot of these words, but also couldn’t. You did.
Keep growing. Keep grinding. This too shall pass!