Trying not to shit my pants.

The Lite Shame Sandwich ::: No. 011

Welcome to the Lite Shame Sandwich, where Megan feels equal parts shame and glee in sharing a once-monthly edition at the end of the month that serves no purpose except to brighten your day by brightening Megan’s ego. ← for shame.

---

October Recap

Turns out I haven’t felt this much pressure since the last time the labor and delivery nurse was telling me PUUUUSH, PUUUUUUUSH, PUUUUUUUUUSH and there was, indeed, great pressure in the region of my cervix. And my hole of ass. Did you know that 107% of women ← totally made up statistic to make myself feel better shit the bed during the stretch defying mystical happenings of their nether regions and subsequent life birthing feat? I thought I would care that I pushed out my bowels along with my baby. Turns out, I didn’t give a shit. ← haahah.

.

.

.

JESUS. WHAT I’M TRYING TO SAY IS HOLY HELL I FEEL THE PRESSURE AGAIN! NOT CERVICAL PRESSURE. OR ASS SHITTING PRESSURE ← NOT MY THONG WEEPING WITH RELEIF. (What is wrong with me? 😂😂😂😂)

BUT PRESSURE NONE THE LESS.

.

.

.

Hi. 😅 Turns out I get a tad… ramble-y when I’m under pressure. But, a hilarious rambe-y. At least I think I’m hilarious. 🙈😂

Why am I under pressure, you ask?

Welp, clenches ass I posted an extremely vulnerable Note on Substack last week. And… it went viral. As of writing this, that post has over 8,000 likes and over 1,000 comments. One thousand comments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🤯🤯🤯

And, perhaps even more shockingly, I have gained over 1,000 new subscribers to my lil Shame Sandwich newsletter. 🤯🤯🤯🤯

Excuse my while I wash out my skidded underpants.

Which means…

I’m feeling a large amount of (self-imposed) PRESSURE to make you beautiful new subscribers souls like me. 🥹

My brain is working overtime to convince me that I don’t “deserve” all of you amazing new subscribers.

AND— that I better water down the swears and outrageous hilarious thoughts that swirl and procreate without protection!! in my brain when writing my newsletters or everyone will unsubscribe faster than a cheetah running to get laid. ←leaving it. 😂

Gulp.

I’m really very squirmy right now. What if this newsletter bombs harder than the unabomber ← too far??? That would be awkward as hell. 😅 I would feel so much shame over that.

And? Fuck it. ← my mantra

I’m going to keep practicing being my squirmiest, most truest version of myself with each newsletter I write. My greatest fantasy EVER is to live on the outside, how I feel on the inside. I want to be free. I want to be me. And I don’t want to be ashamed of that. And so, I write.

WITH THAT BEING SAID—

To my new subscribers that just joined Shame Sandwich this last week: I am giving you the warmest welcome!!!! 🥹 I’m so so so glad you’re here. 🫶

(And to my OG subscribers: I’m so so so glad you’re here, too. 🫶)

And now, let’s get into the October Lite Shame Sammie Recap, shall we?!

---

What I’m Loving:

This torturous devise acupuncture mat!!! Since buying it very much on a whim almost 2 weeks ago (thank you, Pinterest ads), I’ve been using it DAILY. In fact, I lay on it on my back for 15-20 minutes every night before reading my kindle in bed and IT IS HEAVENLY!!!! (And torturous. If you ever need to fuck up your enemies life, just leave it in their unsuspecting path where you know they’ll be walking with bare feel. 😈)

I also even lay on it on my stomach before starting my workday if I have time! Stomach?! I can’t believe I do that either. 🤯

What I’m Substacking:

What I thought would make me happy by

Miriam

. This line: “if you hide your true self over a long period of time it will eventually wear you down” jumped up off the screen and slapped me across the face with a velocity that was startling. I know this truth only too well. 😔 Hiding my true self has been my life for the last 31 years. And with each newsletter I write, I feel like I’m peeling back the layers to the real me. 💕

An Introduction. by

Megan Youngmee

. This might be the longest read I’ve read on Substack yet, and let me tell you, it completely hooked me in all the way through!!! Megan’s story and journey is inspiring, heartfelt and she writes it so beautifully. Highly recommend!

The Unusual Experience That's Made Me Insanely Unstoppable by

Nova Richards

. Y’all. Just wait until you read about Nova’s first day on the job!!! 😳 Literally nightmare situation right there lol. And? the lesson in the story is powerful AF. 🙏

Legendary memoirist Abigail Thomas doesn’t give a shit by

Debbie Weil

, interviewing

Abigail Thomas

. Just obsessed. Brilliant interview, and brilliant answers. I want to be like Abigail when I grow up. 🥹

A lust letter to October by

Molly Ella

. I knowwww we’re now in November but my lord did this turn my summer loving heart full tilt towards welcoming October with loving arms!!! 🖤

The Big Lie that Trapped Me into an Abusive Relationship by

Ros Barber

. So many feels reading this one. This line in particular stood out to me: “If there are big things to learn, we often have to go through big things to learn them. But the pain is worthwhile only if you can get to the other side and take the growth.” Ooof. Yes. 💔

What I’m Audio-Booking:

I finished Necessary Endings! Goodness do I love the message of this book (although parts of the audiobook did drag on a little big, & his voice was a tad annoying 😂). Usually, I haaaaaaaate saying no, or “ending” things. Because I haaaaaaaate rocking the boat. Which is, of course, a terrible way to live life. This book cracks open the trust cost of NOT ending things that need to be ended, and show the power of ending something when it’s needed, and allowing something new to start. I am EAGER TO WORK ON THIS!!!!!

I started Alchemy: The Dark Art of Creating Magic by Rory Sutherland and am about half-way through and OMG soooooooooooo good. If you’re in marketing and/or human behavior and/or are just a curious person. SO SO SO BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!! But tbh the title kinda threw me for a loop… makes me think it’s about magicians or some shit. 🤣

What I’m Reading:

The Lost Bookshop by Evie Woods. So. I hate coming in with a negative review of an authors work because the labor of love and badassery it takes to publish a novel is one of the greatest feats I think anyone can accomplish. Right up there next to drinking 80 oz ← is it 80??? of water a day ← why is this so hard to do????? But I just did not love this book. :( Even though I really tried hard to (and it has 4.07 stars from 142k+ reviews!). I cannot get over how choppy the story way to me. The characters would be going through the most emotional/traumatic event and the author just whisked us right past it, in the most unrealistic way. Couldn’t get passed that.

The Alice Network: A Novel by Kate Quinn. I’M OBSESSED. I’m about half-way through reading and I fucking love it. Historical fiction and characters that melt into your emotion and romance and great plot line and yes, yes, yes.🥹

What I’m Watching:

Vikings: Valaha

Ok ok ok sooooo, my new obsession type is VIKING!!!!!! 🥵

Is there a Tinder for Vikings?! Very much asking for myself.

What I’m Musicing:

Did you know that Chandelier by Sia came out 10 yes that’s T E N years ago??????????? BRO I WASN’T EVEN PREGNANT WITH MY CHILD YET!!!!! That would come 3 months later… 21 and pregnant. Cray.

ANYWHO. I have become clinically obsessed ← jk what does that even me with Sia’s songs lately, specifically:

• Bird Set Free. I could probably fill 17 newsletters with the emotion this song evicts from the very center of my soul. It quite literally moves me. The lyrics. Her voice. The melody. 🥺🥺🥺🥺 I feel like I can do anything when I’m dancing to that song.

• Unstoppable.

• Chandelier.

• Cheap Thrills.

• The Greatest.

• AND MORE!!!!! Seriously obsessed with all the above and others from Sia.

---

Aaaaaand, that’s a wrap on this month’s Lite Shame Sandwich recap!!! 😄

Anyone still here??? 🫣 Lol

Have the BESTEST Friday and weekend!!!!!

-M

p.s. On a more serious note: If you’re reading this and you are one of the souls who liked, commented, shared or energetically supported me and my Note from last week… thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have honestly been so shocked and overwhelmed by the response to that post. I’m still in awe that I actually was brave enough to share some of that shit. It’s by far the biggest “bandaid” moment I’ve ripped off. I already know that is a defining “before/after” moment of my life. 🥺 And while yes, I do feel a lot more “pressure” on me now because my audience basically quadrupled in size in a week, I also feel so much power and healing in being witnessed and being seen and being held in love. You are amazing and I love you. 🥺🙏

---

Hi, hello! You just read Lite Shame Sandwich where I, Megan, share some monthly recap shit with you in the only way I know how: blasphemously.

If you hate my writing please leave me a middle finger review and let me know. Exclamations are greatly appreciated. Emoji’s as well.

Pssst, do you run a business? Do you want to make your marketing better than your enemies hilariously unforgettable? Hire me.